tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25603763728156000092024-02-08T03:20:21.057+02:00My Life as an African GypsyLayne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.comBlogger142125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-89461461395224049152013-07-15T14:49:00.003+02:002013-07-15T14:49:45.113+02:00Karasi's Birth Story<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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June 25<sup>th</sup>, 2013 – Mozambican Independence Day –
Karasi’s birthday. I was 39wks and we had decided to induce for various
reasons. My friend Lauren arrived at 7am to watch Anaya and Jovie and Jon and I
headed out the door a few minutes later to arrive at the hospital at 8am. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
When we got there, I got started with a little paperwork and
a CTG to monitor Karasi’s heart, while Jon got all the admission and payment
stuff worked out up front. The cervix softener (1/4 of a pill) was placed at
about 8:30am – I was soft and favorable, but not at all dilated. I had to stay lying
down for 30 minutes, so Jon grabbed us some croissants from the café and we
chatted it up. After thirty minutes had passed, we headed home to await some
action. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As with my other two inductions, I felt a little crampy, but
nothing note worthy for a few hours. Around 1pm, I started having light
consistent contractions. I started walking around the house as I chatted with
Lauren and Jon and doing some squats and other little exercises, hoping to
encourage the process. I had some worship music playing and all seemed very
relaxed. I felt as though things were going slower than my other labors, which
was a little frustrating. Jon fell asleep reading on the couch, so I told him
to go lay down until 3, and we would reevaluate progress. </div>
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Around 2:30-2:40 I felt like I was having longer contraction
closer together, so Lauren helped me time. Sure enough, they were 45 seconds or
so about 2-3 minutes apart. They were not terribly strong, but that is how it
happened with Jovie, so I told Jon we should go ahead and head to the hospital
soon.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsVIiOa0rpvrxRIW9eylSYShqUSlccgYsg20D-6879TrcDInMTmqTKdw8Vkci7J3HQ_Ixa0L5nl-i94NhgePduKJdfC67fRe5j48lbXAjqTb92SIQiuGn8VKAzkwKWL3NxXgrE_x8yt1oy/s1600/IMG_3113.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsVIiOa0rpvrxRIW9eylSYShqUSlccgYsg20D-6879TrcDInMTmqTKdw8Vkci7J3HQ_Ixa0L5nl-i94NhgePduKJdfC67fRe5j48lbXAjqTb92SIQiuGn8VKAzkwKWL3NxXgrE_x8yt1oy/s320/IMG_3113.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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We casually got ready and drove to the hospital. I could
tell my contractions had slowed down in the car from sitting, and I was feeling
a little frustrated again. We got in around 3:30pm and got all set up in our
room. The nurse did another CTG and then checked my cervix. I was 2-3cm. UGH!
She said she’d call my doctor to give her an update, and I hit the hall walking
up and down an incline, hoping to speed things up. Jon came along and we
laughed and discussed the abstract art on the walls.</div>
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My nurse came out and said that my Dr. said I could take
another ¼ of a pill, but this time under my tongue. I popped it in and kept
walking some. I was starting to feel tired, so Jon and I headed back to the
room to labor some in there with other small exercises. I was concerned about
wearing myself before it was time to push.</div>
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My Dr. came by around 4:30 or 5 and checked me – I was 4cm.
UGH! Jovie was born at around 5:30pm and Anaya around 6pm, and it seemed clear
to me that Karasi would be arriving later; I did not want to have her in the
middle of the night! Plus I was already feeling a bit tired. My Dr. said she
could feel my water and asked if I wanted her to break it. Yes. If it would
speed things up – yes! I had had my water broke with Jovie and it wasn’t too
bad and definitely got things moving. So she broke it, and while uncomfortable,
it was not horrible. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Even though it was a holiday, my Dr. said she wouldn’t leave
because she knew me and if she left there would be a chance she wouldn’t make
it in time for the delivery, and she didn’t want that. She is awesome. She also
knew I liked laboring with an exercise ball, but noticed I didn’t have mine. I
explained that it had gotten holes sometime and I hadn’t gotten a new one. The
hospital had one, so she shouted for one of the nurses to get it for me. Ah! I
love those things. </div>
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Within minutes I could tell my contractions were stronger.
Jon and I kept chit chatting about random things like Myspace, keeping me nice
and distracted. I put the ball on the bed and draped my arms over it. I
could’ve fallen asleep! My Dr. stopped by and felt my tummy through a
contraction and agreed they were good contractions. I kept laboring for awhile
and then the doctor came by again to get my IV port placed for the delivery
room and well as give me medicine called Buscopan typically used for stomach
cramps; she thought it may help relax my cervix. She checked me again and I was
7cm. She offered that if I wanted to push with the next contraction, she could
stretch my cervix a bit, but it’d be painful. I agreed as I just wanted to get
things going and be done with it, since as time wore on, I was feeling more
tired. It was painful but she said I was then an 8-9. Lots of fluid was coming
out at the point, so I kept doing my swaying and squatting over a sheet on the
floor. </div>
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<br /></div>
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My Dr. said to just keep it up and let her know when I had
the urge to push. She stayed in the room and the three of us talked away, while
I’d pause and get through a contraction. This part of labor is not the hard
part for me. Around 6:15-6:20pm it was time to go to the delivery room.</div>
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We got in there, directed them about how I like the table,
leaned up almost to a sitting position, and then I hopped on the table. Jon
took my “About to push” smiling pic that is now a tradition. I remember
swinging my legs off the end of the table and joking with the Dr. that I didn’t
want stitch or hemorrhoids and that it was HER job. Everything seemed happy and
relaxed, until she told me, “Okay, put you feet up.” Nope. I don’t know if I
remembered pushing Jovie, which wasn’t long and I didn’t tear much, but
something made me panic. I didn’t want to do it anymore. I was asking the Dr.
if Karasi was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">right </i>there, if I was
definitely 10cm, telling her that I didn’t want to push long. She assured me
everything was ready I just <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">had </i>to
push her out. As she felt the head, I told her to get her fingers out of me
that she was hurting me. She told me push with the next contraction. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeh1KbmdTjXErvNZhb5386Pkput8BkYO06juTpqvnEspAzNzeayF4x1iVLcvvk1dxr4T1mI4OyxmyfFqX86AdtE4WEV9vHFu6lMTwp2G8HV6iWzYHfMkOG0xUae-TBSK6HJi15atjrfGUO/s1600/IMG_3120.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeh1KbmdTjXErvNZhb5386Pkput8BkYO06juTpqvnEspAzNzeayF4x1iVLcvvk1dxr4T1mI4OyxmyfFqX86AdtE4WEV9vHFu6lMTwp2G8HV6iWzYHfMkOG0xUae-TBSK6HJi15atjrfGUO/s320/IMG_3120.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Somewhere inside I summoned the will power and decided I
wanted it over, so I pushed. And I pushed. And my Dr. told me I need to stop
and take a breath, but I didn’t want to I just wanted to do the thing and get
her out. After 5-10 minutes max, out she came – 6:40pm. Once the head was out,
which burned like crazy, she told me to stop and she’d do the rest. Turns out
Karasi had her arm across her chest and up by her head. (We weren’t sure until
the next day, but thankfully her collarbone didn’t break.) Suddenly there she
was, my little Karasi, all blue-ish and covered in vernix, but right there in
my arms. It was over. They took her to clean her up and I looked right at my
Dr. and said THAT was NOT fun. Ha! </div>
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I don’t know if it was the position of her arm, or how quick
the end of labor was, or what, but not all of the fluid exited her lungs upon
birth, resulting in lots of suctioning and oxygen over about an hour time, but
she was fine and breastfed well as soon as we got to our room. </div>
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Welcome Karasi Nitara! We love you! </div>
Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-68047501104699983672013-05-29T14:38:00.001+02:002013-05-29T14:38:45.426+02:00My friendLike nearly every afternoon I furl my colorful capulana high in the air letting it come to rest upon the perfect patch of grass in my backyard, diaper bag hung across my shoulders - full of toys to appease the smallest, and that very small one balanced just so on my hip as I straighten the corners and holler a "Go away!" to the big stinky dog and "Just a minute!" to my oldest.<br />
<br />
Somewhere nearby she sits, thin line coiled and resting next to her while her perfection of crotchet work lays delicately across her lap and her hook in hand continually weaving beauty. One of her two shawls, either the light pink or sky blue, will be draped around her neck, and while usually leaving one remaining length draped over her missing breast, around us it isn't so important, so it may be flailed to the back exposing her tumor, reminding me that my dear friend is not well.<br />
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Slowly as the weeks pass and we spend leisurely mornings and afternoons together and I learn more of her and of her story - the good and the bad. But isn't that all of us? Isn't that knowing someone.<br />
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She stands hunched over, gripping the tiny hand of my youngest teaching her how to walk, encouraging her efforts and excitingly giving praise to small victories. She sings 'Happy Birthday' to the older one so she won't be sad it isn't her birthday coming up and claps joyously at the end so she might feel the extra attention.<br />
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She sits on my couch discouraged she had to take her medication again and reminds me she's handed it to God and He can heal when He is ready - her faith never wavering. I sit across from her wondering if and when we should talk about death... again.<br />
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I convince myself it is nobility that wants her to go home and spend her last days with her family, while in all honesty it is probably more motivated by fear and dread of having to walk that road with her. I hope there is truly a mix of the two. I do hope she gets to teach her own grandchild that is due in a few weeks how to walk. Maybe I will be wrong. I would love for her to laugh her big laugh in my face and shag her finger at me how I didn't believe enough. I'd love that.<br />
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So glad that she and I have one thing in common - we <i>know </i>we serve a powerful God and we <i>know </i>He is ultimately in control.<br />
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And so we wait on Him. <br />
<br />Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-24904246959652530812013-03-06T20:11:00.001+02:002013-03-06T20:11:33.555+02:00Going-Ons in My HeartI started Angela Thomas's Bible Study <i>Brave</i> toward the end of January. It has been good. Short homework with good truths. This week was on discipline. I joked with the ladies in my study that they may want to work out once or twice before starting the week, just to feel OK about pushing through.<br />
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Here's the deal. I have a hard time being super consistent with studying the Word. Since having babies and being pregnant I just feel tired a lot, and rarely feel like running to grab something to study when I do get a quiet moment. Usually I want quite the opposite - mindless activity. Mind you, the Lord has been incredibly gracious to me during this season and teaches me and whispers to me throughout the chaos and the beauty of motherhood.<br />
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Still I found myself jotting down my list of areas in need of discipline and studying the Word easily went to the top of my list of needs. Angela reminds us during this week that our battle against being undisciplined is spiritual, not a matter of will. She uses the verses in Romans 8:26-27 that talks about the Spirit interceding for the saints according to the will of God. I found comfort in turning this area over to the Spirit and asking Him to grow this desire within me and not trying to conjure up a particular routine to follow and fail at.<br />
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My Mom brought me a couple of devotionals when she came. I am pretty behind on the swing, but on Monday I started Ann Voskamp's <i>One Thousand Gifts</i> devotional. I wanted to. It called to me. Wouldn't you know, it is shaking me up. Because I found such joy in my new habit of expressing thankfulness, I felt prompted to share with a few ladies I am close to at the hospital. I do believe that there is freedom in thankfulness, and as Ann suggest perhaps that is where we find peace. I want that for those ladies at the hospital. I want that for me. After talking with them and seeing their interest, I went out and bought 3 of the ladies journals and pens and then came home and made them as fancy and beautiful as I could. I took them back, and they too are starting a list of thankfulness.<br />
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Some things from my list:<br />
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A husband who works hard with his hands <br />
Listening to Jovie's babbling in the early morning<br />
Listening to Anaya as she makes up stories<br />
Hot coffee and rusks <br />
My husband's heart for adoption<br />
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I could go on and on. Things I'd become numb to. Things of daily life that are worthy of giving thanks to God, the giver of all things good. And do you know what? I am finding joy there. Anaya was telling me about some flowers she saw today, and I asked her if she thought we should thank Jesus for those and how good they smell. I prayed out loud right then. I want to raise children of thanks, who know Who gives good gifts. Everyday.<br />
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And so, since Monday, I believe the Spirit of God has been stirring up a hunger inside. A hunger for knowing Him - right now found in gratefulness.<br />
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Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-69336004933328560272013-02-05T21:22:00.000+02:002013-02-05T21:22:03.152+02:00Felt Like a FailurePost holidays and our trip up north, I found myself in a funk. I was tired in a weary sort of way, not necessarily in a 'need to sleep' kind of way, though I am sure that could have been attributed as well. I was grouchy and snappy by the end of everyday. Jovie had been especially clingy and especially fussy. I had wanted to be more purposeful about learning activities with Anaya in the new year, but it hadn't happened. Instead our home had been invaded by mice and pooped all over, I felt like I was allowing my family to live in filth, while I just couldn't managed the deep cleaning that needed to be quick enough. My husband had not had near the attention he deserved, and yet I just couldn't muster any energy up.<br />
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I felt like a failure.<br />
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I had organized a girls' night out with a couple of friends, which hadn't happened in about 9+ months. Needless to say, I was super excited. That afternoon, before going out, in the most loving and concerned way, my husband brought up my condition. He couldn't have done it any better than he did.<br />
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What I felt? I must have been failing <i>big</i> time. He noticed and could feel it. I told him, through tears, I needed to process and we could chat later. <br />
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I went to my bathroom, shut the door, and sobbed. I was weary and unable to see anyway to change my state, thus no way to stop failing. Eventually I blew my nose, wiped my face, and went back to taking care of my girls, resolved that I'd try to change something. My husband kissed me and reassured me of his love, which I knew was never failing.<br />
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That night I went out and had some of the yummiest Italian food I've eaten in my life, chatted and life about everyday nothingness, and ended with a bowl of ice cream. I felt refreshed.<br />
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When I got home, I climbed in bed with my hubby, and we chatted. I had realized it had been about a month since I had gotten together with friends or gone to the hospital to do ministry. My Bible study group had been on holiday break so I had been lacking my weekly ladies meeting and encouragement. We had taken our 2 week trip up north during that time, but it was 24/7 with the girls and Jon. <br />
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This phase of life with babies is all consuming; it is easy to get caught up and lost amidst it all. I guess I just realized I have to be purposeful about taking breaks, socializing, and ministering. And on top of that, not feeling guilty for it! Jon always encourages me to get out more, but I place guilt on myself for leaving the girls with him, when is so happy to keep them... and happier still to have a happy wife! Since then, I've been a new person.Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-59808699335807008632013-01-29T20:51:00.000+02:002013-01-30T09:09:27.074+02:00Update: 18wks pregnant, 23 months old, 7.5 months old... and Jon!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb230DshDm4MBrqg4nwSwQmgLYOwffvBQypKfKiwCE-ImRgHjls22ZMd3AXNTBCjH_GqFlCgaa-RkQwLcFlUrdoiK7ygUm8VKo3nserWbxCVnAPDyEkrLKRY7s7sjE8RhYlxrSk07FFbA_/s1600/18wks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb230DshDm4MBrqg4nwSwQmgLYOwffvBQypKfKiwCE-ImRgHjls22ZMd3AXNTBCjH_GqFlCgaa-RkQwLcFlUrdoiK7ygUm8VKo3nserWbxCVnAPDyEkrLKRY7s7sjE8RhYlxrSk07FFbA_/s320/18wks.jpg" width="204" /></a>This pregnancy just continues to move along. My heart has grown so fond of my little Karasi and I catch myself dreaming about the fun days ahead with my three little girls. (Seriously? Pinch me! So fun!) I sometimes cannot even get my head around the fact that there will be another baby passing the afternoons with us in our living room. (Well... the whole day. Ha!) I feel so full now... surely my cup will overflow. Our family has been so blessed. I am feeling quite well with little to complain about. I get aches and pains from time to time, but I think those would probably come with or without pregnancy. I like my Tums, as indigestion visits many nights. My belly continues to bulge, and I dread the inevitable discomfort which is around the corner. Such is pregnancy though, this business of making babies. I do look forward to an extended break in the future.<br />
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Anaya is turning 2 in less than a month. We like to watch videos of her from earlier this year; boy has she changed! She is so grown up, telling me which shirt she prefers to wear, making up stories before nap time, eating on her own with her fork, passing an hour reading books on her own, etc. We are working on things like sorting buttons by color or shape, counting objects not just knowing numbers, playing 'Which one is missing' which works on her memory, and practicing very basic phonetics. I do not spend near the amount of time working with her as I would like or she would like, but I figure this is a season. She is still a little sponge, taking in everything! She wants to be just like Dada:<br />
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<img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja_CzmqkB9zmsIIm1HqB3CT0zu0lGQ0Zdo9NTBn8rLrUJFA3L-g1ONVtsqnKgx_N-sVgZ72K6w9MCfUfUyjlpF6YpSrZZl6MGvhs9pg7x8oUgnHJ0GyCc0d6FY5U_pYd5dEQSgpyIKPCwE/s320/IMG_1656.jpg" width="320" /> <span style="color: black;">My Little Singer</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMhENTLBS5s3Uz9ggBRMN1TzS8dJl5owuxUOaPp-tJ7fZ0cpM4vgFKjJSLw4GKRwNIzPSO8KN5hbUtB8HDjNqkA0K8pMOdoevnch-sFFD8mUdp67AqibxwMq8eDbGqACF-Zl8LUdnJbm-s/s1600/IMG_1657.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMhENTLBS5s3Uz9ggBRMN1TzS8dJl5owuxUOaPp-tJ7fZ0cpM4vgFKjJSLw4GKRwNIzPSO8KN5hbUtB8HDjNqkA0K8pMOdoevnch-sFFD8mUdp67AqibxwMq8eDbGqACF-Zl8LUdnJbm-s/s320/IMG_1657.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
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Jovie is doing well. The last few weeks have been a little extra fussy and I found myself very tense and frustrated with her. She cut her first tooth, and I figured that must be it, until my wise hubby asked me if I was producing the same amount of milk. Jovie seemed to be super hungry and gobbling her solids ravenously. That afternoon he gave Jovie a bottle and I pumped. Oops. Not close. SO, this week we are working on boosting my supply. If we cannot remedy it, I will begin to supplement. Boo! Not what I want to do, but Jovie's health and happiness is most important. (Not to mention my sanity.) In other news, Jovie wants to stand, reach, grab for everything all day! I think she'll crawl before long, and this Mama will be happy. I think she'll enjoy some freedom and independence that way and give her best attempt to catch up with her sister. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_KUDM4ifvMIRYMk94MvYyOQG9gL8bdWwQdcuekW-uSZ3P-AFequFsK2HUHoS5Vzn7hvpZSMGNmgJ2CO7tlBZu9PhYsxwgBY56zh1CdDMy3_YOOwnZI89Kh8FHJp_BTuLSq8n6hXZt4ciY/s1600/IMG_1644.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_KUDM4ifvMIRYMk94MvYyOQG9gL8bdWwQdcuekW-uSZ3P-AFequFsK2HUHoS5Vzn7hvpZSMGNmgJ2CO7tlBZu9PhYsxwgBY56zh1CdDMy3_YOOwnZI89Kh8FHJp_BTuLSq8n6hXZt4ciY/s320/IMG_1644.jpg" width="213" /></a><br />
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Who is that big girl???<br />
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Jon is doing great. We have re-introduced gluten, and much to our hearts' content, we believe it is NOT the problem! We are pretty convinced it is an allergy/reaction to a group of fruits/veggies called Nightshades. Check it out if you want. Most commonly, they cause problems with joint pain and arthritis, but sometimes eczema. Go figure. Jon is currently taking an online course in computer programming and easily excelling, which is not a surprise to me. He is such a natural. Anyways, he is just getting his feet wet and we'll see what the future holds for him in that regard.<br />
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We are getting anxious for my parents to arrive on the 15th of February. AH! <br />
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There's a little update! Hope you enjoyed.Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-14668286702208072012-12-20T21:08:00.001+02:002012-12-20T22:31:29.324+02:00Update On the Kiddos<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ2m_ENlr04P3ekORn4FTVyAtqD1a77CR2ewBDCxXdaQl9lx97I7wC13UD9dQyV2ksawB1kRmH-Qln391lxSUtsV_8dOr5KSldDQkm-U2G6xioLYlGyUJ2gMXnC-egzwpcaiZVSA2vLb0t/s1600/IMG_1166.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ2m_ENlr04P3ekORn4FTVyAtqD1a77CR2ewBDCxXdaQl9lx97I7wC13UD9dQyV2ksawB1kRmH-Qln391lxSUtsV_8dOr5KSldDQkm-U2G6xioLYlGyUJ2gMXnC-egzwpcaiZVSA2vLb0t/s320/IMG_1166.jpg" width="213" /></a>Anaya is 22 months old and will be turning TWO before I know it. What?! (A common Anaya-saying) She is such a blessing to Jon and me. She now knows all her colors. (Black, white, brown, yellow, orange, red, green, blue, purple, pink) Her favorite color is yellow... everything must be yellow. She counts to 12 in English and is learning to count to 10 in Portuguese. She sings most of the ABC's, but often gets out of order or decides to skip a big section. She knows more than half of her letters by recognition and an object to go with them, such as "B for baby" or "G for Gasher". She LOVES singing. She has mastered "Twinkle, Twinkle" and "Old McDonald" which are by far her favorites and many other complete songs from our kids class. "The B-I-B-L-E" is especially cute, as is "I Love You Lord" her bedtime song that we sing to her and she now sings to baby as baby goes down for her nap. She talks and talks with a vocabulary I could no longer list. If we point to something and ask her what it is and she doesn't know, she responds with a peppy, "I don't know what that is!" And when we tell her, she likely has stored it away for good, knowing it from then on. She has begun memorizing her books, 'reading' pages at a time. She enjoys praying. Last night we were thanking Jesus for everything we saw, from birds to baby's swing. Other things she enjoys - bath-time, the sprinkler, coloring, caring for baby, rolling in the grass (a new found joy), doing dizzy in the swing, picking flowers and smelling them, climbing, jumping, etc.<br />
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Jovie is now 6 months! Time is flying with this one. She is such a funny girl and already all her own, very different from her sister. We are slowly getting to know her, which is such a cool privilege as a parent. She is my snuggle puppy and very much a Mama's girl. She would love for me to carry her on my hip all day long. She is sits fairly confidently, however, does have her occasional topple, already resulting in a few head bonks and tears. She hates her tummy, so while she is capable of rolling, prefers not to. She plays nicely with toys, now flapping her arms to make the noisy ones shake. Everything goes to the mouth. Everything. She has totally figured out her jumperoo and goes to town in that thing, loving when you praise her. She enjoys music quite a bit. She loves to make raspberries with her mouth, spitting everywhere. I frequently hear her doing this in bed. Today is day 3 of food, and she is starting to cooperate. She is eating oatmeal with a little bit of applesauce in it. We'll introduce bananas soon. She adores any attention Anaya will give her and will laugh at the smallest action Anaya makes in her direction. She loves her. A favorite activity is chasing Anaya around the house yelling. She likes a lot Gasher and is testing his kid-proof-ness by frequently getting a firm grip on his lip. He handles it well and returns for more torture, tail wagging.<br />
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Baby #3 is growing well. I am 12 weeks now and beginning to feel more energetic and less nauseous. And Jon sings "Hallelujah" as his wife might start waking up before 8 in the morning and help with the dishes again. ;) I have a rockstar husband. We should find out the gender next month, which is always exciting. I love giving our babies names in the womb and calling them by name instead of 'baby'. I feel like we get one step closer to knowing this little resident in my tummy.<br />
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I am so blessed to be Mama to these three. Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-55210526314600907502012-12-07T20:17:00.002+02:002012-12-07T20:17:47.443+02:00Pregnant<div style="text-align: center;">
Surprise! Pregnant! Already!</div>
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Wasn't quite the plan, but I think it'll be better. Right, Lord? </div>
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In this picture, I am not sure how I feel yet! Jovie and baby #3 will be 12.5 months apart. Ah!</div>
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These were my first faint lines. Jon kept saying, "No you're not, Layne." I have taken a million of these though, and I knew... a line is a line, faint or not. </div>
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5 tests later it was dark! </div>
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Jovie wasn't thrilled to be taking these pictures. Lol! </div>
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I've settled into the idea and here I am just about 10 weeks along. Boy my belly is showing quick this go around.</div>
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I was feeling great, a little tired, but really good until my sister and niece left... then nausea hit. So for two weeks now I've had a fairly consistent underlying nausea throughout the days, and I'm pretty pooped. Hoping in two weeks I'll start feeling my old self again. In the meantime, Jon is a rockstar hubby and dad. I couldn't do this without him!</div>
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We had an ultrasound today and the little baby was SO active, arms and legs moving, whole body bouncing. We had a hard time capturing the heartbeat to hear, much less great measurements, but my doctor hung in there and we got them. Anaya was sweet and when we heard the heartbeat she stopped, looked around, and said, "What was that?"</div>
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Here's to another healthy, happy pregnancy! </div>
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Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-12683372085679330842012-11-07T08:24:00.001+02:002012-11-07T14:30:05.240+02:00Lord, Have MercyThe image is burned into my mind. After 3 years in the hospital here, little shocks me and leaves me disturbed. Yesterday was the exception.<br />
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I sat across a lady who begged me to let her go home. She told me over and over again that she is tired. I explained that I didn't know how to help. I am not the doctor; therefore, I cannot get permission for her to leave. She would have to stay at least one more night in order to talk with her doctor the next morning, whom I am sure won't let her leave; she is in too bad of a condition. I felt a little helpless. We tried to call her family, but she didn't have the right number.<br />
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Puss oozed from her eyes and drained out her mouth. Her skin was like thin tissue paper and where it was attached to the body it was bubbling with blisters. Where it wasn't attached was bright pink raw tissue. Her teeth chattered against the sopping gauze she held beneath her chin. Her words were hard to understand and it pained me to tell her once again, "I don't understand," forcing her to talk more.<br />
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When it was time to leave, she told me she wanted juice. I asked her what kind she liked and she told me, "Coca Cola." I told her I'd get it and then went quickly to a shop at the hospital and brought it back. I could hardly imagine it possible for her to drink from a can, but she willed the strength, sat up, grabbed it, and started drinking right away. I will never forget her gulping the cold coke as blood poured like a fountain from the new raw spots on her cheeks, soaking the sheet beneath her.<br />
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On the way home I felt a little sick. I wanted to weep, but the sobs were caught in my throat. She is someone's daughter, someone's sister, someone's mom. She is human. I just can't imagine it being me or someone close to me. <br />
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I got home, fearfully disinfected my phone, and told my hubby about it. I went to bed thinking and praying for her.<br />
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Oh that the Lord would have mercy on this woman in some tangible way. Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-35117349207445898082012-10-19T14:09:00.000+02:002012-10-19T14:09:00.030+02:00What We DoIt was late.<br />
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I looked around thinking how strange it was, these roads that brought us here, together him and I. I glanced over his scars thinking up possible stories for how he got them, remembering the life he lived, a <i>real</i> life he lived, full of joys and deep sorrow. There was a deep pang in my chest. I replayed memories of him kicking the bottle hung from the tree and hopping on the roof with Jon, unhindered by the crutches and the loss of his leg. I now watched his pulse beat in his neck, too fast. I stroked his limp hand, hoping he felt my presence, hoping he felt His love.<br />
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He wasn't liked much, having a bit of a disrespectful attitude. He didn't fool me, though. You know the kids with chocolate all over their faces who are insistent they didn't eat the cookie? That's how I saw him, his head held just a little too high, his laugh of confidence wavering a bit at the end. He'd been hurt by those who should have been closest to him. He was scared. Who could blame the kid? I could see glimpses of tenderness, glimpses of the Savior in him. <br />
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Just that morning the Spirit rested heavy upon me, my nose pressed to the floor, my tears pooling on the dark hardwood. My girls and I cried out, "Come on, Jesus!" I yearned for Him to come, for Him to save. I wanted so desperately for this to be the one we saw healed. I conjured up all the reasons why God would receive so much glory this time; I thought of how sometimes the Lord just acted in compassion. (<i>I would lie if I said this was the first time I did this routine.</i>) I was lead to look up his name, Samuel - "God has heard". Surely Lord. I dared to hope to believe.<br />
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I threw on a sweater and tucked my English and Portuguese Bibles under my arm and hopped in the car. It was my shift, Jon and Alice having taken the hours before. <br />
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There I sat stroking his hand; it didn't look as if a miracle was coming. He was peaceful though, pain managed nicely by the morphine, yet still able to talk and respond to questions. <br />
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A call came the next morning. He had been given a bath and then he died. Just like that. Life gone.<br />
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Covered in scripture, songs, prayer, and faith - he died. <br />
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And I remember once again, that this is why we are here. <br />
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<br />Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-43180276330460842122012-09-30T10:29:00.000+02:002012-09-30T10:29:06.092+02:00Gluten & Dairy Free in a 3rd World CountryNow feel sorry for me. Waaaa.<br />
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Okay. Now we're over it. ;)<br />
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Jon and I are committing to 6 months of this lifestyle to see if helps his eczema. When he was no longer having breaks between his outbreaks and he was using steroid cream almost daily, we decided we had to figure something out. So we're giving it a shot and if it helps, it'll be our new lifestyle. <br />
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Currently I have 3 bowls of coconut shavings soaking in effort to make my own coconut milk and coconut flour. I bought pre-packaged stuff to test the waters, then I hope to buy fresh coconuts to use, as they are cheap here.<br />
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I've also experimented with white and brown rice flour and tapioca flour, though my processor and coffee grinder can only get the flour semi-fine. I am so grateful that my brother-in-laws are headed over in 2 weeks, and they will bring along an electric grain mill. (Cheers broke out across the land) These vary in price, so I think I got a well reviewed mid-ranged one. I'll give review after I test it out a bit. This should make life a lot easier, as current rice flour takes blending about 1 cup at a time, and then running about a 1/4 through the coffee grinder multiple times, and even then we get some crunchy raw rice.<br />
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We are headed to South Africa this weekend,, and I hope to find a few other helpful things. I was graciously given a little jar of xanthan gum and I was excited to find out that I can buy it in South Africa without breaking the bank, though I've yet to experiment with it. I couldn't find it here in Mozambique. I am determined to figured a good all-purpose flour blend with ingredients I can find here. This sweet-loving baker needs me some cake, pies, and cookies... not to mention my tortillas and bread. <br />
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Coconut milk has been an awesome substitute for us. I've been buying cans, though I hope to make it myself. I've used it in mashed potatoes, butternut soup, bread, etc. and it has worked beautifully, without a coconut taste.<br />
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Previously I was a confident cook/baker taking pride in the compliments of friends and guests, now I am floundering, apologizing, and often on the brink of tears. Sigh. Give me some time. I keep telling Jon that I am confident I can make gluten free food that is yummy and that people won't be able to tell the difference. Only time will tell. <br />
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<br />Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-69757127404651660952012-09-18T09:47:00.000+02:002012-09-18T16:37:02.326+02:00My Heart, Numbness, and ChangeGod has been exposing deep heart issues, forcing me to be honest with myself. Yesterday we had a friend at the hospital receive news that his daughter had died from Tuberculosis in a hospital up north. So here is the short, he has cancer, his 15 year old son had cancer and has just finished Chemo, and now his daughter is dead. My first reaction was to shake my head and think it was an unfortunate situation. I wasn't grieved though. No tears welled in my eyes, no sorrow in my soul. That bothered me. Had my heart become a little numb to death here in Mozambique? <i>Death just happens. Often. People expect it to happen. It isn't so sad for them.</i><br />
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It is easy to grieve and have compassion on suffering that is in your face and before your eyes, for the person with obvious physical pain. But what about the family? What about emotional pain, that which we don't see, especially here in Mozambique, where tears are weakness and are rarely shed?<br />
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I forced myself to really think about the situation, what had happened, what this man was experiencing. I thought about my own daughters and my own husband. There. I felt deep in my gut.<br />
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I don't want to grow accustomed to suffering, to death. <br />
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From there the Lord said, "That isn't enough Layne."<br />
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Jon and my first reaction was, "Let's get him home." We'd pay what we needed to, but we would be determined to make it happen and quick. His family needed him right now. He should be there for the funeral. I felt no attachment to the money, glad to see it go to a good cause, to be a blessing. We'd pay for the round trip, making sure he would be back for the next round of Chemo.<br />
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But the Lord began to prod. <i>Layne, you are so free with your money, and that is good, but are you so free with your life? </i>As I began to think, I realized I had to be okay with more.<br />
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I am a planner; I hate last minute things. I don't do well with my husband traveling. There it was though, we needed to offer for Jon to drive him, which would be an overnight trip. I wrestled a bit, wanting the money to be good enough, wanting to make excuses.<br />
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No good.<br />
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So I let go. I swallowed the lump in my throat, got myself back to thinking of the grief this husband and wife must be feeling, especially the wife at home alone, now needing to plan a funeral for her own young daughter. I vocalized it and told Jon we needed to offer it.<br />
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Turns out, for various reasons, the bus was the better option for this man. I won't lie, I felt a bit relieved, but my heart had still been exposed, challenged and hopefully changed.Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-49584342634237009422012-09-12T20:21:00.001+02:002012-09-12T20:24:06.284+02:00DIY Light TableIn my exploration of how to teach preschool for Anaya, I was exposed to light tables as a means of learning. There are endless activities to use them. (check google, Pinterest, playathomemom.blogspot.com, etc.) Put it this way, just about everything is more awesome on a light table. Well I soon decided we must have one. Because I have a handy hubby, we came up with a plan, and as of today we are proud owners of our very own light table! (Said with bursting excitement)<br />
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Here is how we did it:<br />
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Bought a clear plastic storage tub with a flat smooth top<br />
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We painted the inside silver to reflect the light well. (I bought heat resistant spray paint, because I didn't want to worry at all.) <br />
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Bought 2 florescent lights to put inside<br />
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Hot glued them to the bottom of the tub and connected the two cords <br />
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Drilled a hole in the side for the cord to come out<br />
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Added an extension cord with and on/off switch <br />
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Cut a piece of parchment paper to fit under the lid, so you don't see the bulbs straight through the clear top<br />
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And ta-da! Light table! <br />
Love that it is plastic - no worries about breaking or harming it and everything can easily be wiped off. And the top has a little lip, which is great for things simply staying on the table and will be great for playing with paint and sand.<br />
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Anaya is already enjoying it <br />
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Our discovery bottles just got a lot cooler <br />
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Showing how mixing colors makes new colors!<br />
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I've only had the table a few hours, and I am loving it! Okay, okay, Anaya is too. ;) Here's to learning in fun ways!<br />
<br />Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-9816026677092723892012-09-08T11:25:00.000+02:002012-09-08T11:26:41.326+02:00Discovery Bottles<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My new addiction. I love these! Old plastic soda bottles turned into toys/learning tools. Be sure and hot glue the lids shut so you don't end up with a mess on your hands. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLAtYgWBZnuspiX1sgAOG-Ut3AB2IzIQ8-TOlk9sshsJJaNCqGBeAyR8nXIJEiOHAZft2DckOX1qjziB4Gv7XRP-I1FhKuS6_XHSp0zyRPZNnzzYjmOQUZwUVJjYWfBsKlHgxCCJU7M_xL/s1600/IMG_9677.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLAtYgWBZnuspiX1sgAOG-Ut3AB2IzIQ8-TOlk9sshsJJaNCqGBeAyR8nXIJEiOHAZft2DckOX1qjziB4Gv7XRP-I1FhKuS6_XHSp0zyRPZNnzzYjmOQUZwUVJjYWfBsKlHgxCCJU7M_xL/s320/IMG_9677.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Here's a few. I made other ones featured below, not in my little line here.</div>
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Kiddos can even join in the making! </div>
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This is half a bottle water + food coloring and half oil. Makes cool waves that are difficult to get a good photo of. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzkQRcJsuXmZUH-hvx1ulNW_bbICl07pNnCZrZgqByDRAQdIu5rHVgRZ2qybbEt8W57WnDKLotcV6I81tbxPlqT5n9d1RQ-2OtrFmEWLcabjNApUpOEZ6HKIyMgdZFQ0K2S6YwldmVskmh/s1600/IMG_9702.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-Yl05QerbGLP8zHglIU0CZ5uhKQg29aOrUkbuJm1Cj0RGgGHHd5HD158FdaDiFLrVMhpvgQcGw4mw1yV_Gk44F7_-ebyxk2T6otrSW20s5JCpQMkzey9NN4zawwgro9eqfGP-asuvePlP/s1600/IMG_9685.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-Yl05QerbGLP8zHglIU0CZ5uhKQg29aOrUkbuJm1Cj0RGgGHHd5HD158FdaDiFLrVMhpvgQcGw4mw1yV_Gk44F7_-ebyxk2T6otrSW20s5JCpQMkzey9NN4zawwgro9eqfGP-asuvePlP/s320/IMG_9685.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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Also makes cool colored bubbles when shaken. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHkQp09tTa_3dESTOwfSvQEZU9HLxjUz_7txYekI9FLbdu9T1g2sNnyjMbZVXSqEMtUOTyTcHf61GKgESeoyIDaPF8ud5yvPLJEfpz2l5nek9gfoTqUPnwfW_gjXSFqGyzQEm3rMnnHkmC/s1600/IMG_9687.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHkQp09tTa_3dESTOwfSvQEZU9HLxjUz_7txYekI9FLbdu9T1g2sNnyjMbZVXSqEMtUOTyTcHf61GKgESeoyIDaPF8ud5yvPLJEfpz2l5nek9gfoTqUPnwfW_gjXSFqGyzQEm3rMnnHkmC/s320/IMG_9687.jpg" width="213" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggVdsX8HjShTXbdOHlsj0oMV72ODGYFp4gfjmN2D8vVwICnCv-7NNwv6mryne2uSzMsiZkXqdlUtAiYgqCsq5yn9AV5N_yZH7y8MP6wLO0LKEJXgodJhKkZU_JhSNyheQ7N7TwEDom28jk/s1600/IMG_9689.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggVdsX8HjShTXbdOHlsj0oMV72ODGYFp4gfjmN2D8vVwICnCv-7NNwv6mryne2uSzMsiZkXqdlUtAiYgqCsq5yn9AV5N_yZH7y8MP6wLO0LKEJXgodJhKkZU_JhSNyheQ7N7TwEDom28jk/s320/IMG_9689.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
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Anaya calls the pink one the "pretty one". Water + glitter. If you use shampoo, hair gel, or corn syrup, it will fall slower, but those things are a little expensive here and the water is still fun.<br />
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The green on is water + food coloring + dish soap. Bubbles! <br />
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I cut some ribbon to watch float around. It is fun to watch float around.<br />
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Next one is toothpicks + rice. Cool shaker that kind of sounds like rain. <br />
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Water + food coloring + marbles and shampoo + marbles. We can compare the way the marbles fall.<br />
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And the last one is very versatile. I cut up the letter of the alphabet and put them in peas. You roll the bottle around searching for different letters. You can put plastic items/animals and do an eye-spy. Older kids can do sight words or spelling list. So great! Anaya actually likes this one a lot. <br />
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I am going to make a static electricity one this afternoon when one of my bottles dries. You put little pieces of styrofoam and little pieces of tissue paper then rub the bottle on the carpet and on your hair. Fun!<br />
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<br />Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-25885847484693707422012-08-28T11:35:00.001+02:002012-08-28T11:35:51.530+02:00Some More Activites with AnayaI'm proud of myself keeping up with Anaya's daily activities. While we will cycle through through them and repeat, for now most days are new and exciting.<br />
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This one is one of the easiest and one of my favorites for working with colors. Get 2 pieces of contrasting colors of construction paper and then go hunt for a variety of toys those colors. I hide them in a gift bag and hand them to Anaya one by one and have her place them on the correct sheet of paper. At first I thought the activity was a little too old for her, but by the second time we tried she understood. I don't like her to become frustrated, so if she decides to play with the toys instead of placing them on the paper, no biggie, we try again later. She now asks to do it from time to time. <br />
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This was another fun one for Mama, because I got to be part of the reward. YUM. =) I baked cookies in the shapes of ABC and 123 and then whipped up some frosting colored red, blue, and green. I let Anaya frost and sprinkle her cookies. She'd repeat was letter it was and what color she was using. Then it was off to the bath. Ha! Hard to believe Anaya used to not like feeling different textures and getting dirty. <br />
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Then today we played with Russian nesting dolls. Aunt Tara, who knew when you bought me these in Russia, my daughter would love playing with them? She had so much fun and played for such a long time, content as could be. She liked saying things like "big one" and "little one".<br />
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I made a few things I have made for Anaya (with Jon's help) to encourage reading. We made her a little "nook" to read in and a book pocket to store some books. It has surprised me a little just how much Anaya enjoys her new things. You should hear her say "nook". So cute.</div>
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I am really enjoying being this girl's Mama. She is so delightful and eager to learn. </div>
Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-25667934455978095072012-08-23T20:06:00.000+02:002012-08-23T20:06:07.680+02:00Painting with Condensed Milk<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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One day I'll learn these little activities get messier than you think... but oh so fun.<br />
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Look how organized! </div>
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Okay... lost the shirt. </div>
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Then the pants and the paintbrushes, which ended up being way too long. </div>
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Yum! </div>
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(Much laughing from Mama, shocked face from Dada. = time for the tub!) </div>
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Observing </div>
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What Mama?</div>
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Loving it. </div>
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We practiced saying the colors we were playing with, writing on the tub wall, and then just had fun. =) Easy to turn on the shower and rinse it all away. Love my Anaya girl.Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-15812151574603735052012-08-20T16:08:00.001+02:002012-08-20T16:09:20.730+02:00Play Dough and Cloud Dough<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So in effort to do more planned activities/learning with Anaya, I made some homemade doughs for her to play with.<br />
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<u><b>Play dough</b></u><br />
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The first was play dough, which turned out to be super easy and so much better than the stuff you buy. You can find the recipe <a href="http://anartnest.squarespace.com/home-made-play-dough/2009/4/19/home-made-play-dough-project.html" target="_blank">here</a>.The only thing I would say is that I added my food coloring after the dough was made and separated; it worked great.<br />
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Easy ingredients I already had in my pantry </div>
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Pretty colors, basic enough for Anaya to recognize and learn from </div>
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Play time! </div>
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Fun times. </div>
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And since we don't have all the fanciness from the States to work with, here are a few examples of the items we played with/pressed in the dough... a.k.a. random items I found around the house. (I realized I don't even have any cookie cutters! Ha!)</div>
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Anaya is so young, so I am really having to model imaginative play. (Examples: Rolling out a snake and making it hiss. Making a circle and calling it a pizza as we decorate it, and then slice it. Rolling up three balls and making a snowman.) She has caught on quick, however, and is starting to come up with some of her own ideas. It is fun to watch. </div>
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<b><u>Cloud Dough</u></b></div>
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Cloud dough is crumbly, yet moldable dough, resembling wet sand, but much softer and nice to play with.</div>
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I sort of adapted my own recipe here. It is 4 cups of flour and 1 cup of oil. For the 1 cup of oil, I used this 50ml bottle of baby oil and then filled the rest of the cup up with sunflower oil. (canola oil would work) Some recipes use only baby oil, but I didn't have enough. You could also make it with just sunflower oil, though the baby oil kind of smells nice. If you have more than 1 child playing, you might want to double the recipe.</div>
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I wanted to play inside so that the dough would easily stay clean enough to put in a ziplock and use again, so I put down our plastic floor mat that goes under the high chair to catch spilled food. I had a vision of it being contained and neat, though that flew out the door in a matter of seconds. It stayed <i>mainly</i> on the mat... and then some all over the living room. I like these times to be fun though and not disciplinary, so I tried to embrace my inner messy side. I did pretty well! And guess what? It only took about 5 minutes to sweep and clean it up. Totally worth it. This dough is not sticky at all and super easy to just brush up. I will warn, however, I did just put Anaya right in the bath tub, as it seemed the easiest.</div>
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Again, simple ingredients I already had. </div>
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Anaya cooking with her dough </div>
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Our 'cake' made form my silicone cupcake holder </div>
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Anaya is a little slow to dive in, but by the end she was dumping it all over herself. =) </div>
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So fun! I saved our dough in a big ziplock, and I think we'll be able to use it a few more times. What a fun morning. It was like being at the beach, but in our living room! Awesome!Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-71168687625756753622012-08-16T12:39:00.001+02:002012-08-16T12:45:23.372+02:00Starting some 'Preschool' Activites<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Anaya soaks up one on one time. She loves playing pretend, coloring, painting, reading, singing, etc. Her little brain fascinates me, how she has been hard wired to learn. I've decided that while she is only 18 months, she's ready for some intentional learning on my part. I've been intrigued by the whole 'play based learning' theory, and so with some research I am coming up with activities she would enjoy.<br />
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We are also rearranging our guest room to have a small learning space for the girls. We sold a couch that was in there, so now I have a small budget to work with. I've gotten a little plastic table and chairs and plan to start my supply of crafty items. Also, Jon is going to build us a light table to work on. I'm super excited. I'll post pictures when I'm done creating/decorating. <br />
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The idea of homeschooling elementary overwhelmed me a bit. I may have my teaching degree, but it is to teach high school English, and even then I haven't been in practice in a long time, however, I am starting to think I can rock this. ;) <br />
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Anaya is a pro at the role playing, imaginative play. =)</div>
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Notice the cute pink chairs. </div>
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To start our activities, I decided to do something we already had on hand. I hid 6 blue marbles in rice and let Anaya search for them. As she found them, we counted them. I think she like the rice more than the marbles! I'd like to do this again with various colors, to work on colors as well as counting. She loved it!</div>
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<br />Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-5638720138965647482012-08-14T20:54:00.001+02:002012-08-14T20:54:40.621+02:00Little Packs of LoveI was driving down the road today and saw a man shuffling along with a make shift cane. My heart went out to him and I breathed my usual prayer for the Lord to bless him especially today, for Him to heal. Because of various reasons, we have come to the conclusion that giving money is not always the best, so we rarely if ever do. Still I am left feeling a bit helpless, wanting to communicate the love of Christ in the few seconds that I am near in my car, but not sure how.<br />
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Today I had an idea, I think from the Lord, to assemble little packs of food items with a scripture and carry them in my car. Then when I am moved by the Holy Spirit, I will have a way to bless them. <br />
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I've had ideas before, but never followed through with them, so I knew I better just do it. Jon had the girls and I was alone, so I ran into a store, grabbed a few items (oranges, cheese puffs, fruity chewy candy), and then assembled them as soon as I got home. I'll have to update and let you know how it goes handing them. I hope my girls can take part, too! (Jovie is a little young at the moment...) I'll let Anaya help me put them together and if she wants, hand them out from her carseat.<br />
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The plan is to refill once a week. We're starting with 12 little packs. <br />
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<br />Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-46906272828314332622012-08-02T21:27:00.003+02:002012-08-02T21:27:53.216+02:00My Life as a CheerleaderThe Olympics have been so enjoyable for me. I love watching gymnastics. I was in gymnastics much a of my young life, from about age 5-12 or 13. Towards the end I focused on tumbling and did a little cheerleading. I like to think I was decent for my age. Tonight Jon and I were goofing around with Anaya, doing headstands, cartwheels, and handstands. When I tried a back-walk-over, I couldn't do it. I felt old, but could laugh about it. Gone are those days... <br />
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Earlier this afternoon Jovie lay next to me on our bench outside cooing away, while Anaya ran wildly from activity to activity. I laughed a bit and said to Jon, "Oh, my life as a cheerleader!" His eyes lit up. Hmmm... nope! Not quite like he was imagining. I was talking about my role as a Mama. <br />
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When my girls are awake you will frequently hear, "Good job!" "Awesome!" "Go girl!" "YAY!" "Very good!" <br />
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Sometimes I feel like it is constant, from one girl to the next. Our kiddos vie for our attentions and desperately seek our approval. As Anaya learns to talk she will say a word over and over until we acknowledge we know what she said, and I am nearly positive she knows when we just say, "Yeah!" and don't really understand. She wants to know she communicated well.<br />
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We are shaping our little ones, building their self esteem, preparing them for this harsh world. Lord knows there are many obstacles and hurdles our children are going to have to overcome, and we parents need to be the loudest ones in the bleachers, shouting above the "Boos!", never losing hope. If they fall, we meet them where they are at, walk beside them, and help them continue, much like the <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/olympics/17779148" target="_blank">father of Derek Redmond</a>. Our role as cheerleaders is crucial.<br />
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Jen Hatmaker (If you don't know of her, you gotta <a href="http://www.jenhatmaker.com/" target="_blank">check her out</a>!), frequently talks about her Dad and the way he would encourage her and her siblings. Read <a href="http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/10/19/words" target="_blank">this</a>. I want to be this kind of Mama.<br />
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So for now I cheer when Anaya dances like Elmo, when Jovie smiles, when Anaya gets one leg in her pants, when Jovie says, "Ahhh", when Anaya finds her baby in her room, when Jovie kicks her legs fast, etc.<br />
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While I may not be able to do a back-walk-over anymore, I think I'm a better cheerleader than I've ever been.Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-38390203850890191582012-08-01T14:17:00.000+02:002012-08-01T14:17:01.961+02:00Keeping the FireI'll be honest, it is hard to find time for romance with a 18 month old and a 6 week old. By the time the girls are in bed, I'm in veg mode <i>or </i>frantic clean everything up and then pass out mode. I feel like maybe it'll be better when Jovie girl goes to bed at a reasonable hour and isn't feeding at 7 and 10 or 8 and 11. Once we drop that evening feeding, we'll be back to having 7:30pm-7am to ourselves again. Jovie just started taking a bottle and I just started pumping, so maybe a babysitter is even on the horizon. While that is all good and well, I am still married and still need a little lovin' with my hubby. Can I get an 'amen'?<br />
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Because I married such a stellar guy, last night he planned an evening by the fire with me. Sure, it couldn't happen until about 9-9:30pm, but he went outside, made a fire in our fire pit, and got some marshmallows to roast and hot chocolate to drink. We put on our pea-coats, pretending it was cold enough for them and enjoyed an evening sitting on a bench, talking about our relationship from when we met to Jovie being born. It was fun reminiscing. There was some laughing and even some tears. Such a sweet time with the one I love most.<br />
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Now, it took some determination to make it happen and were it not for my hubby's insistence, I might have said, "Not tonight." Don't you guys with kiddos know, however, that every night will turn into to a "not tonight". Sometimes you just gotta stay up later than normal, push aside your tiredness, and be purposeful about romance. And that is just what Jon did for me. (And I said romance, not sex! While many times they go hand in hand, we ladies like some straight up romance.) <br />
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I think we both enjoyed it so much, we'll make more concerted efforts to continue.<br />
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I love you, Jon Heller! You've always been the exception. I am so proud to be your wifey-wife.Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-21211956975160709332012-07-15T13:24:00.000+02:002012-07-15T13:24:13.901+02:00Not DoneA friend of mine here in Mozambique just announced she was pregnant with her second. I am so very excited for her. When I saw the announcement on facebook though, I felt funny tinge of jealousy. Seriously, Layne? Jovie is 4 weeks old! No, I am not going to try and get pregnant right away. We actually will get on birth control this time, however, I told Jon that I'm pretty sure I am going to want a third. I hear when you are done having kids, most women just <i>know</i>. Well, I'm not there. To think of never being pregnant again is a sad thought to me.<br />
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When I told Jon that I just love the process he laughed and said, "No you don't!" I do. I don't love the last uncomfortable couple of months, but who does really? I love the first appointment, all nervous and anxious to see the little bean and the pulsing heart. I love reading about the current week of development and all that is being created inside of me. I love all the ultrasounds I get, seeing the baby's first profile shot. I love finding out the gender, no matter if it is a girl or a boy, it is just exciting. I love deciding on a meaningful name and slowly working it into our family even before birth. I love the first moments of feeling the baby kick, and then the first time Jon gets to feel it. I love seeing my baby for the first time after delivery, and feeling like you've kinda known them already. Yeah... I love all that. I hope to do it again sometime.<br />
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As for my Anaya girl... she seems like such a big girl these days. Her little personality is so fun. I frequently tell her, "Anaya, you are such an enjoyable girl!" Some day she'll probably roll her eyes at me for such comments, but it won't bother me, I'll just say them all the more. She is smart, funny, daring, determined, sensitive, and absolutely beautiful. I couldn't love her more!<br />
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And my Jovie... she is growing and changing by the day. She has these hysterical guttural laughs that she makes in her sleep. She grunts more than any baby I've ever known, and I frequently exclaim, "Goodness!"or "Holy cow!". She has this little grin she'll make when I'm talking in too high of a pitch and making crazy faces in attempts to get a response... totally worth my craziness. I love this little person and cannot wait to know her better. <br />
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<br />Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-79451169781957358902012-07-10T15:15:00.001+02:002012-07-10T15:19:19.212+02:00Bragging on AnayaA lot of my posts have been about Jovie lately, so I thought I'd take a minute and brag on my first born. Anaya is only 17 months, but her vocabulary continues to amaze Jon and me. I decided to write a list of her words of as many as I could think of, more for myself to get an idea of what all she is saying and keep it for her baby book, but I thought I'd share. She will repeat almost anything you say, but the following are words she says regularly, on her own. Yes, she sounds like a 17 month old saying them, so they are not perfect pronunciation, but you'd be surprised at some of them! <br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<u><b>Says upon recognition</b></u></div>
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Lion (Grrrr)</div>
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Giraffe</div>
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Zebra</div>
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Hippo</div>
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Turtle</div>
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Elephant (Noise w/mouth)</div>
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Dog (Woof)</div>
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Cat (Meow)</div>
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Bird (Tweet)</div>
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Mouse </div>
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Cow (Moo)</div>
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Bunny</div>
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Frog</div>
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Baa Baa (Instead of sheep)</div>
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Horse</div>
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Duck (Quack)</div>
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Whale</div>
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Fish (fish face)</div>
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Ladybug</div>
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Snail</div>
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Pig</div>
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Owl (Hoo, hoo)</div>
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Gobble gobble (Instead of turkey)</div>
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Octopus (doesn’t sound much like it, but consistent 3
syllable word?)</div>
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<u><b>Can say and locate</b></u></div>
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Eye</div>
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Ear</div>
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Nose</div>
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Toe</div>
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Hand</div>
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Knee</div>
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Belly button</div>
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Mouth</div>
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Teeth</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u><b>Other Words</b></u> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bible<br />
Mary</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Joseph</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jesus</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Amen</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Uh-oh</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bye</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ta-ta</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hi</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Outside</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Kids</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Water</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Buckle</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Play</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Brush</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Shoes</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Rock</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Flower</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Book</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Heart</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hat</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Car</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pillow</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bath</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bubbles</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Towel</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bed</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Teddy</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cover</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Baby</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dress</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Help</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Off</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dance </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Down</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pot</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cook</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Delicious</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Home</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Watch</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Elmo</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dangerous</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Goodness </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ball</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Guitar</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Clock</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Computer</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Rock (as in rocking in the rocker)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Row (as in Row, row, row your boat)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Trash</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cry</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pat </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Poop</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Toot</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Burp</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Spit up (sounds more just like ‘up’)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bite</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Milk</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Juice</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Apple</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Banana </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Grape</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cheese</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Orange</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Egg</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tomato</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cracker</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cookie</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cake</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bread</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mais (More in Portuguese)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thanks</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Please (not consistent)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u><b>Names</b></u> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anaya</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dada</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mama</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jovie</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gasher</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(Plus possessive form of all – Dada’s, Mama’s , etc. in
reference to whose things they are)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gee</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pa<br />
Nana</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Papa</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tara</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Boog</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nini</div>Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-30641395305252481322012-07-03T12:16:00.001+02:002012-07-03T12:20:22.368+02:0018 days old - Where We're At<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvqVfImvsUaaFDLdDGuW5Ymv2yuolqK8ljSayZsvDLLp_T9EcUeODnrvc2K_1QeQdvtoQ024IYxZUltjvNr3RzpmjTeyUtvD5mRQmhlbXz0ZnUQl0-GMlhdqQMb56Z_oZYdnCMQqMOBHzP/s1600/IMG_8501.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvqVfImvsUaaFDLdDGuW5Ymv2yuolqK8ljSayZsvDLLp_T9EcUeODnrvc2K_1QeQdvtoQ024IYxZUltjvNr3RzpmjTeyUtvD5mRQmhlbXz0ZnUQl0-GMlhdqQMb56Z_oZYdnCMQqMOBHzP/s320/IMG_8501.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
So here we are at 18 days old. Is she really so new to our family?<br />
<br />
Jovie is on a pretty consistent 3hr feeding schedule. There are a few feedings a day that we still have to hold her off a bit, but overall she's adapted well. The 3hr day schedule for feeding has helped our night schedule, and we're down to 2 feedings a night, which usually end up at 3hrs on the dot. It is crazy how newborns' bodies can get on such a timely schedule, no watches necessary!<br />
<br />
I already have a favored boob. I think it is the opposite one than with Anaya. I remember pumping with Anaya... I'd get 3-4oz from one side and 1oz from the other. Yes, they looked lopsided, too! Not quite sure how it happened, and I know I could work to even it out, but that's work and I don't care that much. <br />
<br />
I praise the Lord for another quick eater. I hear stories of 45min nursers. =/ Jovie is 15-20min total.<br />
<br />
Napping. Hmph. Like most newborns Jovie likes to be held. To be honest, this Mama likes holding her! The problem is that my little Anaya, still a baby in my eyes, needs some one on one attention during the times Jovie sleeps, and I cannot give that properly while holding sleeping Jovie. When I am breastfeeding I can only devote so much attention to Anaya, and while she's been gracious, I can tell she has her moments. When Jovie is awake playing she tends to get a lot of attention, too, as I am trying to stimulate her little brain. We try and involve Anaya as much as she is interested, but that isn't very long! All this to say, when Jovie sleeps she has got to learn to sleep in her pack'n'play, so I can tend to my Anaya girl. She does it sometimes no problem, but yesterday afternoon she had cycles lasting about 2-3hrs of falling asleep in my arms, getting laid down, sleeping 3 minutes, and then waking up screaming.<br />
<br />
So far this morning she has done well. The goal is to lay her down as soon as her eyes begin to droop, hope she can fall asleep on her own, and then stay in the pack'n'play the whole nap. When she cries for 1-2 minutes, I go shake or pat her little bun for a minute, and then give her the chance to fall asleep, not letting her cry for more than about 2 minutes. If this continues a few times, I will pick her up 'till she settles, and as soon as her eyes droop, lay her back down. <br />
<br />
I don't handle crying well. I'd like to think I'm a toughie, but I'm not. 1-2 minutes is torture for me. I rarely ever made it 5 minutes with Anaya crying. The cry-it-out method isn't my game. I had great success with Anaya, however, doing a similar method to the one I'll try with Jovie. Key is/was consistency and a huge dose of patience. Sometimes it is a matter of patting their bun and leaving 50 times. (not literally... usually!) Soon it becomes less and less, and they do figure out how to fall asleep with no assistance. Today Anaya is the easiest napper/go to bed girl; we lay her down, tell her we love her, and leave! I hope the same for my Jovie.<br />
<br />
P.S.<br />
<br />
I hate this learning their cries stage. (Actually, I may argue they are learning to give different cries as much as we are learning to interpret them.) I know before long I will be able to tell when she is in pain, when she is mad, when she is sad, etc., but for now it is all guessing. I remember it with Anaya. No fun.Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-60887879058948563872012-06-27T14:39:00.000+02:002012-06-27T14:39:02.227+02:0012 days Postpartum*Warning - Womanly topics without a filter. Read at your own discretion.* <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>12 days postpartum</b></span><br />
<br />
<b>Breastfeeding - </b><br />
<br />
I had hopes that only stopping Anaya four months ago would mean great ease for me, yet the nipples protested. Scabs. Yep, just like with Anaya, a little blood and scabbing and many wincing faces as Jovie would latch, and then relief could come. We endured and today, day 12, I am nearly scab and pain free.<br />
<br />
Now for a quick side story -<br />
<br />
Last week I was up in the night for a breastfeeding session. Jovie had pooped, so I wanted to change her in between sides to help keep her awake and get a full feeding in.While laying on her back, she spit up just a bit, and when I wiped her mouth, there was a little blood. As you could imagine, I panicked for a split second wondering why in the world she could be bleeding from her mouth. Perhaps internal bleeding??? AH! Then I looked down and realized it was just from my boob. Gross. Scary though...<br />
<br />
In other news, thanks to breastfeeding, I have lost 15-16lbs of my pregnancy weight and have 10 to go, which if it happens like Anaya, will come off on its own over the next month or so. Not to mention I have been snacking, snacking, snacking. If I would watch what I ate at all, I think I'd be pleased with the results. I can be back into all my jeans, I just don't enjoy the tight feeling in the waist or the potential muffin top every time I sit, so I may wait on some of those. My mom and I teased about the incredible shrinking tummy, as each morning I could wake up and visibly notice the flatting of the preggo bulge. How nice that we were created to still look pregnant after having the baby?? Horrible! I told the Lord... Anyways, it is close to flat now, and just in need of toning, which I hope to jump on after my 6wk release from the doc. For now I try to avoid looking at my tummy anytime I lean over, just depressing.<br />
<br />
Also, so far, no engorgement or crazy leaking. It may come, but we'll see. For now I can avoid the <a href="http://www.africangypsy.blogspot.com/2011/03/breastfeeding.html" target="_blank">shower shuffle</a>. Once Jovie gets on her own schedule, I'll probably start pumping, and that will bring it's own adventures.<br />
<br />
Ways it is nice to be a 2nd time breastfeeding mom - I am a pro at layin' Jovie on the boppy and having 2 hands while breastfeeding. I eat dinner, read to Anaya, type easily. It's all about multitasking, I tell ya! I got super sick the other night and even brestfed while barfing into a bucket. (That wasn't nice, but it was nice to know it was possible. Mom's don't get breaks! Especially breastfeeding Mamas.) I breastfeed comfortably and easily in public with my cover; I can even do it on the move if I have to! And whether it is good or not, boobs have lost their mystery to me, and I will not be mortified if I accidentally flash someone switching sides. (Mind you, I definitely try all I can not to.) I just remember being super self conscious with Anaya. After a whole year of breastfeeding Anaya, it is second nature to me now!<br />
<br />
<b>Uterine cramps -</b><br />
<br />
I hadn't forgotten. They were as bad as ever. I think they lasted 3-4 days. Because they were longer than 30 seconds, I would argue they might have been worse than my labor contractions, and when your holding your newborn baby and trying not to squeeze the tar out of her while she eats... yeah, difficult! They do end though, and I kept telling myself that was how I was going to get skinny again; my soccer ball in the belly needed to shrink!<br />
<br />
<b>Bleeding and Stitches -</b><br />
<br />
I am blessed when it comes to postpartum bleeding. I do not bleed heavy or long. So, at 12 days postpartum, I am about done and wear something only for peace of mind. Stitches aren't the nicest that first week. Wiping is tricky and is more like careful dabbing, and they sometimes like to get caught on that lovely pad you have to wear. Ouch! As you heal, they sometimes feel a little stingy and itchy, so because of where they are located it is just extra uncomfortable. 12 days postpartum, I feel fairly normal and pain free down there, and remind myself the strange bump of skin that was put back together does go back to feeling smooth down the road... not to worry.<br />
<br />
______________________________________________________________________________ <br />
<br />
So there are a few of the tough things, but it being baby #2 makes the transition through these things so much easier. I know I can and will get back to myself soon. With Anaya I seriously doubted it was ever possible, though delivery and recovery had been much harder. This time I don't wonder or worry, in fact, I know it's right around the corner. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2560376372815600009.post-60995878445381964392012-06-20T12:09:00.000+02:002012-06-20T19:57:41.363+02:00Jovie's Birth StoryFriday morning, June 15th.<br />
<br />
The induction had been set. For personal reasons and concerns, we decided that if Jovie hadn't made her grand entrance by 39 weeks, we wanted to induce labor. My experience with Anaya had been a good enough one, except for the pushing and trauma involved there, so we were comfortable and at peace with repeating the process, and praying for an easier transition period/delivery. <br />
<br />
On June 15th I was 39wks + 1day. My doctor had been traveling for the previous 10 days, and I was relieved she would be the one to deliver my little Jovie. (Remember I live in Mozambique, Africa, a 3rd world country. There are plenty of competent doctors, but I find it difficult, personally, to trust 'the doctor on call'.)<br />
<br />
We did not have an appointment set, but were to be worked in, so we decided to arrive at the doctor between 8 and 8:30am, knowing my doctor usually arrives between 9 and 9:30am. If we were the first in the waiting room, and if our doctor saw us as she walked into her office, we knew we'd get in a little faster. Sure enough, as soon as she walked in we were able to go in her office and chat with her. She rubbed my belly with a broad smile and said, "She waited for me!" She jotted in our chart to do the induction and then sent us over to the maternity ward to have the heart rate monitored and the cervix softener placed.<br />
<br />
Jovie was healthy and the process was ready. It was 9:45am when the nurse placed the cervix softener. I had not dilated any, but was soft. This was a little discouraging to me, as I was 3cm when we induced with Anaya. I had hope of delivering before dinner, as I had done with Anaya, but the pill was being placed later and now I wasn't even dilated. Boo! They have you stay laying down for 10-15 minutes to keep the pill in place, and then we opted to go home to wait and begin labor. If nothing had happened by 4pm, they said we could place another pill. I would want to come back anyway to check Jovie's heart. With the hospital being, 35-45 minutes from our house without traffic we would have to leave our house to return at 3:15pm or so.<br />
<br />
On the way home we stopped at a grocery store to do a junk food run for both me and my mom, who would be staying home with Anaya. Popcorn, cookies, gummie bears, pringles... I thought I was feeling a tad crampy, but figured it was more from the cervix check than anything. We got home and not much was happening. We ate lunch and hung out a bit. I still felt a little crampy, but was getting more and more discouraged, thinking we'd have to return at 4 for another pill, and then maybe get stuck laboring the whole time at the hospital.<br />
<br />
I decided to take my exercise ball into my room, as Anaya would not permit me bouncing on it without her joining or switching off, and try to encourage some action. With Anaya I liked to place my knees on the floor and drape my body over the top, belly hanging, and rock a bit side to side. (That is what I was doing when my water broke with Anaya.) Jon joined me in the room and we turned on some Chris Tomlin worship music. I bounced a bit on top of the ball, and then would trade off to my knees. Around 1:30pm I felt a small gush of fluid. It was small, but I knew something was happening. Still, no contractions. Around maybe 2pm I had another little gush.<br />
<br />
I was still feeling discouraged as we looked at the clock, knowing we maybe have to return to the hospital without being in full on labor, and I knew at this point they'd probably keep me. The contraction began, but they were very short and not hard. I was not needing to breathe or pace through them, so they were not even worth monitoring, to me. I felt like they were frequent , but not very productive. I finally told Jon, maybe I should go outside with my Mom and Anaya to distract me and walk a bit. Immediately the contractions had more intensity. I came into update Jon, but I still was not wanting to monitor anything as I was able to chit chat through contractions. It was about 2:30. We had started to load the car to be ready to leave. My mom laughed as I was loading my own car, but the contraction really felt light, and I figured continuing with life as normal was better. Jon suggested we time a couple contractions for the heck of it. They were only 30 seconds, but coming about 1 minute apart. We decided we should go ahead and go, to be safe and not risk a terribly miserable trip in the car; it was 3pm.<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
The car ride was uneventful, and I managed my contractions easily. They seemed to slow a bit while sitting in the car. We calmly arrived to the hospital. Jon was a tad embarrassed to carry my HUGE exercise ball through the entire hospital, but he is a rockstar husband and didn't complain. (It didn't even fit in through the door! He had to hit it, as it popped through. Ha!) <br />
<br />
We got set up in the room, and I then I got a glimpse of Jon... he didn't look so well. I asked if he was okay, and he said something like, "It isn't about me." That meant he wasn't doing good. He looked sweaty and pale, and I was confused. He went into the bathroom, and it was confirmed... not well. Vomiting and diarrhea. Great timing. Not something he could help though, obviously.<br />
<br />
My doctor was wrapping up a delivery, so the nurse said she'd be by in a bit and check me herself. We waited, contractions stayed about the same, 30 seconds, hurting, but I could sing through them, so I was convinced they were not super effective yet. I would walked and sway to the music in between each contraction and then hop up onto the bed on my hands and knees during each contraction, as it seemed the most comfortable.<br />
<br />
My doctor came in at around 4:40pm to check me. I was 5cm, and my doctor asked if she could break my water. I agreed, and she was able to do so quickly without the help of instruments. I knew labor would pick up, and my doctor jokingly said as she walked out the door, "Don't freak out." Perhaps she was envisioning the beastly actions of before.<br />
<br />
Jon continued to need the bathroom. I could tell he was frustrated and upset that it was happening. In between contractions I'd ask how he was doing, and he'd always respond along the lines of , "This isn't about me, you focus." Since I was managing so well, I figured I might as well check on him; I'd remind him there wasn't anything we could do about it and it was just happening, like it or not... we'd be fine.<br />
<br />
My doctor came back in around 5pm. I told her I was beginning to have the "poop feeling", but this time I knew it was the baby's head. Her response: "Already?! We might be ready to push." She noticed, and we explained Jon's current situation, so she got him a shot organized to try and stop the vomiting. As Jon was getting that shot, my doctor rubbed my back and chatted through contractions; she is pretty much the best. =) She commented on how the contractions were right on top of each other, and I laughed about how nice it was to have a whole minute or so in between! With Anaya, it was like one big contraction, no normal talking or breathing from 7cm-10cm and then throughout pushing.<br />
<br />
She decided to check me again, as every contraction brought on the 'poop feeling'. With the contractions so close together, I did not want to catch one on my back, so as I laid down I felt one coming, and flipped quickly on my hands and knees and asked to wait. 30 seconds later, I quickly flipped back over and begged her to hurry. Who can labor on their back? It is awful! I was about an 8, and it was determined we should move to the delivery room. Thankfully it was a short walk within the ward this time... no riding elevators and walking through waiting rooms. I labored through one more contraction in the room and then sped walked to the delivery, not wanting to catch a contraction on the way. Jon dizzily followed.<br />
<br />
I wanted to pee before pushing, so I ran into the bathroom and did so. There was the delivery table in the middle of the room and a hospital bed against the wall. A contraction had started, so I asked if I could hop up on the bed, as of course I could. My doctor wanted to put in a IV port quickly and give me a little sugar push for energy, as pushing was difficult last time. I was fine with it.<br />
<br />
It was time to get on the delivery table. I felt it was laying too far back, so asked if it could be raised. It couldn't. My doctor quickly arranged for them to bring me pillows to help me feel propped up. At this time I was on my hands and knees whining, "I don't want to do this!" "I remember this feeling!" "I hate this feeling!" "You're just going to have to pull it out!" "I don't want to this!" My doctor was laughing and telling me I was just going to have to, and I indeed could do it. (I had a picture before I pushed with Anaya, so I wanted one for Jovie, too. I think my doctor thinks I am crazy. Ha!)<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
I laid back and she urged me to push with the next contraction. As I did she encouraged me the head was right there, and to keep pushing. I thought (as I later found out Jon did, too) that she was lying to encourage my good pushing. I pushed hard and let out a big scream at the end. While we waited for the next contraction, I was still in quite a bit of pain, saying I was done and wanted to quit. Then my doctor firmly told me to push, and I did. My eyes were shut and I could hear other voices saying, "Don't stop! The head is right here! Don't stop!" (It was the pediatrician.) I couldn't continue, so I stopped for a bit. I can't remember well, but one or two pushes later, there she was! I felt the head out, I heard my doctor say, "Now stop!" and out she came and was suddenly on my chest.<br />
<br />
Jon tells me he was a little confused. We both expected it to be longer and harder and for me to lose control a bit more, so when Jovie was put on my chest, he first thought she was a towel or something. Even I was taken aback! She's here! Already! Relief. <br />
<br />
It was 5:25pm.<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
"She's okay?" I asked. "She's just fine," my doctor assured. She prepped the umbilical cord, and Jon came over to cut. Jon, still feeling awful, stood a little dazed next to me. I reminded him to go get a video and take pictures, and he did so without missing a beat.<br />
<br />
My doctor delivered the placenta, and we laughed about it looking like a jelly fish. I had torn some, so we prepped for stitches. She gave my the local deadening shots and got to work. I am not sure how many I got. I believe only one on the outside and multiple on the inside; it took awhile. I appreciate my doctor's perfectionism, however, and the pride she takes in her work. She makes sure everything will get back to normal, and that is appreciated. <br />
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Jon came and went during this period, as he needed. Jovie had come out quickly, so she needed a bit of oxygen. She cried more than Anaya, which was actually reassuring. When my doctor finished and they were changing and cleaning me up, she went to see Jovie. She took off the mask and decided she looked ready to eat. They brought her to me and she was able to breastfeed for the first time, right there on the delivery table. She latched like a champ.<br />
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Then the nurses were ready to put clothes and a diaper on her, and it was time for me to head to my room. Jon was already in there, so I left Jovie and they brought her to me minutes later. I didn't want to leave her, but told myself she'd be fine, and the ward was so small and quiet, I could hear her the whole time.<br />
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I got set up in bed, and Jon laid on the bed next to me, pale and exhausted; I couldn't believe that had happened to him when it did. Seriously? The timing! Jovie arrived quickly and I got to snuggle her and look good and long at her precious face. She looked very different, to me, than Anaya, and I was taking it all in. She breastfed some more. I began to feel hungry and eyeballed the bag of gummy bears across the room. I didn't want to disturb my sick, nearly asleep husband, but I couldn't get up, and oh how those gummy bears looked good. I would look at Jon, then look at the gummy bears. Look at Jon. Look at gummy bears. "Honey??" I whispered, "Can you get me those gummy bears?" Without hesitation he hopped up, stumbled to the chair, and stumbled back to me with the bag of gummy bears, assuring me it was no problem, though I could see the effort it had taken. He fell back into bed, and I began ravenously eating my gummy bears, surely making more noise with the bag than necessary. Ahhh.<br />
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Jon had called my sweet friend Amy when Jovie was born, and she was going to run my mom and Anaya by the hospital so they could meet Jovie. (I say "run them by"... it was a long drive during traffic, so a labor of love for sure on Amy's part. So very appreciated.) Before their arrival Jon and I chatted and decided he shouldn't stay the night. He wouldn't be a help, and inside I knew I'd only be irritated with him. We thought through our options. Maybe my mom could stay with me and Jon could take Anaya, as Anaya would go to bed as soon as they got home. We weren't sure, however, Jon would be able to drive all the way home, or that he'd be well enough in the morning to care for Anaya on his own. Anaya could go to Amy's, but she'd didn't have any clothes or diapers, and she already had been a little out of sorts throughout the day, and I'd only worry if she was okay. She has attached herself to my mom, Gee, and I knew I wouldn't give a second thought to her happiness if she could stay with her. (HUGE blessing she was/is here.) We decided Amy would take everyone home, including Jon, and I'd stay alone for the night. <br />
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When my Mom, Anaya, and Amy arrived, Anaya was so sleepy. She had a look at Jovie, but was not too interested. On the other hand, she took quick note of the hospital blanket covered in teddy bears. She loves teddies. My Mom didn't even get the chance to hold Jovie, as she kept Anaya, but she did get a good look. Jon was still struggling so they left nearly as quickly as they came. We snapped a quick 'family of 4' photo, and Jon put on a smile. I cried a bit as they left, feeling sorry for myself, though I was able to pull it together quickly.<br />
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I put Jovie in her bassinet, and decided to go to the bathroom and change clothes. I was amazed that I could without too much pain. Obviously I was sore, but I could tell instantly that I was so much better off than with Anaya. Not too long after, Jovie passed her first poop. I changed her diaper, and she hardly fussed. The night was easy, and I got more rest than I expected. Jovie was a dream.<br />
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The next morning Jon had our other dear friend Ian come and get him to bring him to me. As I waited the nurses came to clean the umbilical cord and give Jovie a sponge bath, two things I refused for Anaya, but I guess I am already a little more laid back with the second baby. I oversaw everything, but was happy to have someone else do it. The nurses at this hospital had been amazing so far, and I had a lot more confidence in them, than the nurses at the hospital where I delivered Anaya. <br />
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The pediatrician came by around 9:30-10am and discharged Jovie, and it was not much later my doctor came by to discharge me. After incredibly slow paper work, we were discharged and arrived home at about 1pm.<br />
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Adjustment has been easy. My mom has been more than a blessing, helping with cooking and cleaning, and especially giving the extra attention for Anaya. Jovie is the sweetest, easiest, most contented newborn I've known. She sleeps and eats well and is already falling into a great feeding schedule. Things may change some in the weeks to come, but I am positive she is nothing but a joy to our family.<br />
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Jovie Fé, your name is perfect, as are you. Welcome to our family! You are so very loved.<br />
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<br />Layne Hellerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16161334202694544725noreply@blogger.com6