My Life as an African Gypsy

They are cute, cute.



Wouldn't you agree?

As for leaking...

Day 1 was fairly successful. During the day, we had no leaks. She wore the diapers about 3 hours at a time. I put double inserts in for the night, and the diaper made it 10 hours, but I should have changed her right away, instead of trying to wait until her feeding. She did leak around the leg.

I was feeling pretty good, somewhat proud of myself, as if I had made the diapers or something. Ha! However, day 2 fell apart. Lots of leaks, even after less than 2 hours. Needless to say, I was very frustrated. Now, when I say leaks, I'm not talking super wet, but it does get her little onesie wet around the leg.

For now, I put her back in disposables. We had an all day outing today, and I just didn't want to worry about it.

Here is the plan: After reading some reviews, I think I will strip my diapers. What this means is that I will soak them in water with dish soap. (In the US they recommend Dawn dish soap. I don't have that here in Mozambique, so I will use Sunlight.) The covers have certain synthetics in them that can make them less absorbent. One lady said she had the same problems that I am having, but after stripping them, no more leaks! I am hoping this will work as well for me and solve our leaking problems.

I will soak them tonight, wash them tomorrow, and hang them to dry.

I shall report on Monday or Tuesday.

My reason for cloth diapering was solely financial. Sure, like most people, the idea of being 'green' sounds nice, but I am honestly not very motivated by that. You think diapers in America are expensive? They are even more so here in Mozambique, because they have to be imported. UGH!

When I began looking into it, I was suddenly overwhelmed. SO many options, and a lot of them seemed like an expensive start up cost. I began reading reviews to find the best fit for our family.

I ended up ordering 24 Sunbaby one-size pocket diapers with 48 inserts off Ebay from a lady in China for $156 w/o shipping. (US shipping is free, but it was only $30 to have them delivered to my door in Mozambique!) I did double inserts for every diaper, so when she begins wetting heavier, we'll be set. Also, night time can need extra absorbency, if she'd ever sleep through the night! Ha! These diapers are made for babies 7-35lbs, which means no need for small, medium, and large... that would be expensive! Though, I have heard they fit better around 10lbs.

(I will tell you that the seller of Sunbaby diapers on Ebay is currently taking a break, but I hope she will resume her sales soon. I have heard that Coolababy diapers are almost exactly the same, also cheap from Ebay.)

Anticipating some adjustment to having a baby around the house, I chose to wait until 2 months to begin. So now she is at 9wks and I am just getting started. =)

Now I'll introduced to the diaper:

Here is the diaper laid flat. All the snaps are for fitting adjustments.




Largest setting And the smallest

This is the pocket the insert goes into

Like so

I bought a cute soak bucket with a lid to put the diapers in after worn, but before washing, while I wait for a full load.

It is recommended to do one or two washes before use, so I soaked my diapers in water for awhile, then washed them once in the washer with detergent, and dried on the line. (We do all drying on the line, unless it is raining.)

Note the cute colors and patterns!

Some people put the inserts in as they are putting the diaper on, but I prefer to have a drawer full of diapers ready to go, so I've put all the inserts in and snapped them up to the smallest setting. (note: place insert in while diaper is flat, before snapping.)



So I think we're ready to go! I'll update tomorrow and let you know how our first tries went. Hoping for no leaks!

And while you are washing diapers, why not do cloth wipes and save a little more? I've gone with the Bottoms-up Kit mainly because I got a great deal from BabySteals.

Pretty much a pre-cut soft terry cloth wash rag.

Clean and dirty containers that seal nicely to keep smell away, along with little oil drops, which help with the wash and smell. You only need a couple drops per wash period.

A nice mesh wash sack.

And handy waterproof bags for on-the-go.

Okay, there it all is. Reviews and experiences to come...

Maybe the fact that I am a missionary has a little something to do with it, but I would guess most Mommies actively involved in a Christian community can relate to my experience of post-baby ministry transition .

I went from going to the hospital and visiting 5 days a week, to not at all, and now slowly getting back to 1-2 days a week. I was at the hospital visiting with my friends the very day before I went into labor; it was what I did... almost a part of who I was. I was not ignorant of the changes that were coming, and I had made up in my mind and heart that Anaya, and my children to follow, will be my #1 ministry; however, if I am honest, I have still have had a mourning of those things I used to be able to do.

Even my days back at the hospital have changed. This is not all in negative ways, in fact, little Anaya brings so many smiles and joy each and every person she encounters; I have an automatic conversation starter. I love it! The difference for me now is that I cannot jump up onto the bed and hold the lady struggling to sit, the one near death. I cannot sit with the same lady for hours just holding her hand. Now I have Anaya strapped to the front me, many times wanting me to move around. Jon can take her when need be, and we will strike a balance in the times ahead, but I do yearn to do certain things that, for now, I cannot.

I chose this though, and I do not regret my decision in the least. For now I am just learning... transitioning. My #1 ministry is Anaya. Okay. But what should that look like on a day to day basis? She is a newborn! She cannot understand what I am saying or teaching her. Giving her food, bathing her, changing poopy diapers? Sure doesn't feel like ministry sometimes. In fact, sometimes I feel lazy, not making it out of my nursing tank top and exercise shorts. I do pray over her; her health, her future, wisdom for Jon and I as parents, etc. We sing worship songs to her. We ask the holy Spirit to dwell in her and for the Lord to save her soul. All this is good and well, but the fact of the matter is that most of the day is spent just caring for her physical needs. And you know what? It is good.

I have to remind myself that the Lord is pleased with me caring for my child, my husband, and my home. It is a ministry of breastfeeding and diaper changing.

**Take note of the title. This post is intended for female readers, or for men wanting to have sympathy for their breastfeeding wives. There may be more information than you care to read, and if you know me, it may be more blunt than you are used to, so take this as your warning, and read at your own risk.**

I heard so many women talk about the beauty of breastfeeding and the miraculous bonding that happens during the process. I was not deceived. I never looked forward to my darling baby sucking my nipple, and always felt cuddling with a bottle would fill that little bonding need just fine. My reasons for breastfeeding were first and foremost the health benefits for Anaya, and secondly we cannot afford formula, at least not easily. The following is a little of my experience thus far:

Scabs: Some women had been honest, and I was prepared that the first week or two could be painful as your nipples toughen up. (Just a lovely thought, huh?) Sure enough, after only a few short days, I had scabs on my nipples. Seriously? Scabs! On my nipples! Somehow the milk still comes through. Then I had to watch and worry about poor Anaya ingesting a scab as she sucked so furiously, though thankfully, I was able to peel it when it got quite loose. Sick. Let's just say, "Not sexy." Boobs have temporarily lost all sexuality.

Engorgement: Then, your boobs get engorged while they are trying to regulate how much milk to produce. I knew this, but the first time my boob became as hard as concrete, I freaked out. We were on our way home from our friends' house when I felt it. I wanted Jon to get home as fast as possible, and I tried to calm myself. In my rational mind I knew my boob wouldn't explode, but there was this irrational side that kept tugging at me... Good news, they don't explode.

Sleeping with a Bra: It is impossible to be without a bra/breast pads for any length of time. So long comfortable sleeping; we have got to keep these things under wraps. Once again... sorry hubby!

Leakage: There are two kinds of leakage I want to talk about, but I'll put the other one under a different label. Here, I'll just talk about the good 'ol through the breast pad/to the side of the breast pad leakage. To save money, I've been trying the washable breast pads. I have to wear two, but for the most part they work well. For the most part... happily, the other times have been at home, sparing me utter humiliation. I've decided to wear the disposable ones when I go out for any extended period of time, even though they cost $12 or so dollars for a box of 60. When Anaya decides to bless me with an extra hour of sleep in the night, I wake up with two big wet spots on my shirt, making me get up anyway. Can we say embarrassing? Sorry hubby... not sexy!

The Shower Shuffle: No one warned me about this. While a nice warm shower can be good for engorgement, on a day to day basis it is just annoying. So here you are all nice and clean, finally washing off the spit up and diaper cream, not to mention the layers of sweat for those who live in non-air-conditioned homes in the midst of the summer, and you are feeling pretty good... that is until you try and dry off. Your boobs are like faucets! How in the world are you supposed to dry off? If you lean over at all, hello gravity, not nice! After many attempts and much milk on the legs, I've perfected a little shuffle, which eliminates leaning over. It helps, but not completely. After having to yell at my husband to bring me my breast pads so I could even step out of the shower, I've learned to put them within reaching distance.

Appearance (TMI): Wow. It isn't just like, "Oh yay, I finally have big boobs for the first time in my life." Though, in clothes, it does feel a little like that. But naked, no, they are covered in veins, the areola is ginormous, and your nipple is massive. Nope, not just big boobs, big crazy lookin' boobs. Ha! In my opinion, not sexy!

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Anyways, to balance it out a bit, I usually end up laughing multiple times when my ravenous little girl grunts and shakes her heads like she's about to die unless she gets some milk, or when she looks up and grins at me between sucking, or when she burps insanely loud, but doesn't want to quit sucking for a second.

It isn't all horrible, and a HUGE benefit is that you lose your baby weight much faster, and your uterus shrinks back much faster. You may retain 5 or so pounds until you stop breastfeeding, but you get to that weight much faster. I was down 20 of 25 pounds in about 1-1.5 weeks; it was really amazing.

So to all those breastfeeding, or those who have breastfed, hats off to you!

So this title is a bit deceiving, making you think that I had no stretch marks before this day; however, that is simply untrue. My years of puberty left me gifts of shiny little squiggly lines on my hips and inner thighs. It didn’t help that in college I happened to gain some 25-30 pounds and then proceeded to lose it all months down the road. Yeah, that still seems like a little foggy bit in life that I don’t remember, but I assure you there are a few pictures for proof. Anyways, back to this day that I found, ahem, my new stretch marks.

I was 39 weeks pregnant with my precious little Anaya, and up to this point had felt pretty good about myself. I only gained twenty-five pounds during the pregnancy, and while my tummy was large and in charge, it happened gradually and felt pretty normal to me and somewhat cute. I had semi-faithfully rubbed what is called ‘Bio Oil’ on my belly to prevent stretch marks, and had already drafted a letter offering my services for commercials and campaigns, because I was proof this stuff worked; I had no stretch marks! (Okay, I hadn’t really written the letter, but that was my state of mind.) I say semi-faithfully because I had every intention of putting it on once or twice a day, but hello, I am a girl who can’t even wash her face on a regular basis, or take my make-up off at the end of the day, so yeah, semi-faithfully better fits the scenario.

We don’t own very many mirrors, and only have one on lend that is full length. I keep it in the guest room for now, which has odd lighting, but does the job of checking to make sure I look put together enough and that my pants aren’t too tight, leaving weird tightly stretched lines under my booty. This was the mirror I used during my pregnancy to admire my beautiful preggo belly. Oh this mirror of lies! Okay, maybe it isn’t the mirror’s fault and more my own for the lighting issue, but I would rather blame the evil mirror.

Okay, so we are back to being 39 weeks pregnant and I was in the bathroom when I decided to admire my big belly in a tiny little mirror attached to our shower. I had done this before, and while I couldn’t see the whole thing, I could get a glimpse of the glory that was my belly. This being my first pregnancy, I was simply in awe. It was during this observation that I saw what appeared to be some faint marks lower than my belly button. Frantically I went up on my tip toes. There, to my horror, were lots of squiggly lines! They were a light reddish purple. I felt nauseous and went to sit on the toilet, where I could pee, something I did every few minutes, and get my thoughts together.

My husband came in to find me sitting on the toilet with tears in my eyes, rubbing Bio Oil like a mad woman, thinking perhaps the oil could make them disappear now. When he asked what was wrong, I could hardly get out the words: “I… have… stretch marks!” This was followed by a flow of tears that did not stop for a half an hour or more. Once, when my husband asked if I was still crying, I said, “Yes! I am mourning my body!” I knew I couldn’t cry about these things forever, and now that they were permanent additions, I figured I’d give myself a day to mourn them, and then I’d have to move on.

“Have I moved on?” you ask. Not really. I don’t cry over them anymore, but post-baby they seem a little higher than they were, and they haven’t shrunk any, which I think they will. They are now silver-y and not reddish purple, so that’s a plus. Some people like to call them battle scars from pregnancy. Yeah, that doesn’t work for me, or make me feel much better about them. They are what they are, and they are permanent, so there ya have it. I’ll just try hard to get this tummy back in shape and work with what I’ve got. I think of it more as a sacrifice I chose to have my precious girl. It was worth it, but still a sacrifice, and sacrifices aren’t generally thought of as fun or easy.

Let's be honest, parenting is just a big trial and error project as we have this huge job of figuring out our completely one-of-a-kind little kiddos, and trying to raise them to the best of our ability.

This week as we transitioned into a more structured schedule, Anaya found her lungs and her ability to protest. The first couple of days she was still oblivious to this power she held, and went down so nicely for her naps, making little to no noise, and I smiled thinking I had this little angel baby. Then suddenly, with no warning for this Mama, she unleashed the beast. ;)

I quickly referenced the books, and tried various techniques, wanting to ensure I did not create a vicious cycle of Mommy coming in every 5 minutes for 30 minutes every nap time. I really want her to develop the skill of self-soothing and to be secure by herself in her own bed; I feel like that is most healthy. I also need that nap time to get things accomplished around the house, so it doesn't work if I am bound to re-entering the room over and over and over.

I tried the whole 'Baby Wise' letting them cry it out theory... yeah that didn't work for us. I am sure it was less than10 minutes that I waited, but it felt like torturous ages, and when I went in to find my inconsolable sweaty baby girl, guilt washed all over me. Error. I picked her up and tried to calm her to no avail. Finally, after much holding, singing, snuggling, I put her in the sling and gave her a pacifier and she calmed.

Then I tried a modified Baby Whisperer 'pick up/put down' theory. I would listen and try to interpret her cry, and when it turned from a whine to an all out cry, I went in, picked her up until she calmed and her eyes were no longer wide open; then I laid her back down. This worked pretty well, and though I did have to go in more than once, I was hoping for improvement with time. The only problem was, I felt like little Anaya knew Mommy would come if she cried hard enough, so began getting progressively worse instead of better. We went from having 2 rough naps a day to every nap being a struggle. UGH! The second she saw me coming to comfort her, the crying went to a new level of drama. (Seriously? Is she only 19 days old?)

Where I am at now is that I let her cry for about 5 minutes, and then go in and comfort her. She doesn't get quite to the inconsolable stage and sometimes she finds her little fingers and comforts herself, not needing Mommy at all. I did try a pacifier, but she spits it out after 5 or so minutes and obviously cannot put it back in herself, so screams again. Going in to replace the pacifier defeats my reasoning for doing this schedule in the first place, so we're not going to do that. We've had a handful of successful naps over the past two days, giving me hope for the weeks to come. We shall see!

As for Mommy, they have been long days. Since newborns nap about 5 times a day (not including nighttime), if every nap is a struggle, let's say, "No fun!" I think I've cried at least once a day as well. I usually end up laughing at the ridiculousness, but my hormones are whack anyway, and a screaming newborn that I love dearly and hate to see unhappy for one second... yeah, not easy!

Here's to the adventure of learning my precious girl! I love her so much!

Well Anaya is now 2 weeks old, and Mommy feels like we've been doing this for ages, both in good and bad ways.

I am just about back to normal, with most of the soreness having subsided, and the lovely hemorrhoids gone. (TMI, I know, but someone has got to be honest! That is some hard pushing to get a baby out of there!) Breast-feeding is no longer painful, and the cramping from my uterus shrinking back to size has stopped. Hallelujah.

I spent the majority of the first 5 days in bed, taking slow little trips to the toilet or kitchen. I breastfed in bed and Anaya stayed by my side in her bassinet. I had heard the first two weeks should be at the baby's disposal, so Anaya got whatever Anaya wanted. I don't regret this time, though it didn't last a full two weeks.

About 9 days in I realized we needed to started putting some effort towards a flexible schedule. Anaya was not taking full feedings, falling asleep at the breast, sucking for comfort, and taking multiple cat naps, which meant this Mama was getting tired. I blasted through reading 'Baby Wise' and 'Baby Whisperer' and came to the conclusion that we needed to focus on full feedings and order of activity. Anaya needed to sleep, eat, and then stay awake, whereas she was currently sleeping, having some awake time, and then eating, only to fall asleep at the breast.

To make napping easier, I decided she needed to nap in her own room. She did great, but when it came to nighttime, we had a little meltdown. I concluded it was too many changes too fast, so we are continuing to let her sleep in our room for the nights. Feedings are going MUCH better. I make more a concerted effort to keep her up, and with her more structured/longer naps, she seems to be a bit hungrier. She is not a 30 minute eater. I tried, since I wanted to be sure she was getting enough milk, but even awake, she stops when she is done and refuses the nipple. I consider it a blessing that she won't suck, just to suck.

Our late afternoon naps have been a little difficult. Yesterday I let her get too tired, and didn't comfort her soon enough in her crib, so she got beside herself. It was awful for both of us. We finally found peace in the sling with a pacifier, which she had never taken before. What I learned is that I need to go in and comfort her a littler sooner, so she doesn't get to the place of no return.

This morning was our shot to try it out. She woke up crying after a few minutes. I went in and after some cuddling, patting, and shhhh-ing (taking 5 minutes or so), I laid Anaya in her bed, still awake, but this time she had calmed completely down and eyes were tired again, and she fell asleep. I feel like it was a small success. 1 nap at a time! Haha!

So this is my current life. Anaya has become my #1 ministry and all attentions are on her. If I do a good job now, my hope is that our lives together will be structured enough to re-incorporate hospital ministry soon.