My Life as an African Gypsy

Belly wise  I feel like I am quite similar; I am actually right at the same weight. Biggest difference for me is that I'm not swollen this go around! Praise the Lord! I think the time of year probably has a lot to do with it, as it is "winter" this time. (If you can call 80-90 degrees winter!) I am still wearing my wedding ring on the correct finger, and I see in this pic above, my wedding ring was already on my pinky finger with Anaya.

Jovie is growing well and according to estimates (+/- 1lb), she is right around the same size as her sister, who was born at 8lbs 4oz. This go around, I won't be sharing as much of my birthing plans as I did last time. You guys will surely know when my precious girl is here, as I am a picture fanatic, especially of those first days, and I'm sure I'll blab all about the choices we made along the way, however, I have learned how unpredictable things can be and personally am going in much more relaxed than with my first.

My mom arrives on June 5th! That is TEN days away. I am thrilled, to say the least.

I do have one prayer request. Our ultrasound on Thursday showed that Jovie's bladder was on the large side. It could have just been very full, and she just needed empty it (pee), or it could be a sign of a problem. My doctor was not terribly concerned and asked that I would not worry at all, but it is her job to be precautionary. We will take a look at it this Wednesday with another ultrasound, when we would have monitored her heart-rate anyway. Pray with me that it resolves itself, and we can end this pregnancy with no complications, as I have been blessed with thus far.

I made it! 11 nights and 12 days.

To some of you, it sounds silly, inexperienced, naive, young., etc. for it to be as difficult and dreaded as it was. To me I say it is a sign of a good marriage. I pray I never become accustomed to my husband's absence, whether it be for one day or one year.(To be honest, those first few can be the hardest!) Jon and I are partners in this life, and that means any life done without him is going to feel off. 

I think I dealt with a little depression before Jon left, so I've concluded that I was really feeling exhausted, but maybe it wasn't my pregnancy. Because I was so exhausted, I think I wasn't giving Anaya quite the attention she needed/wanted so her behavior had not been enjoyable the weeks prior to Jon's travel either. I had envisioned us wanting to kill each other after so much time together, as she usually enjoys when she can switch to Daddy time.

Once Jon left, I think I accepted it because, hello, I had to. =) I had plenty of energy and my attentions turned to my Anaya girl. We had sweet times together, which I am thankful for before our little Jovie joins us. Her behavior was unprecedented, even with a tooth emerging. We were rather scheduled about things, and I took the opportunity to implement a few news things into our routine... like helping me clean up! It was a fun week and a half for Jon to be gone, because it was the time her vocabulary decided to sky rocket. She has started saying SO many new words. She really was a dream child. We even went to the hospital multiple times, and she was more patient than usual, having to go to so many rooms before playing outside.

It was after Anaya went to bed at 7pm that things became a little more difficult for me. The house is awfully quiet alone, and sleep in our bed alone did not come easily. I found myself up until midnight nearly every night, and then up every hour or two after that. I watched some movies, crafted, read my Bible... still it was long.

Cross continent distance is a little different, too. 9 hour time difference is a bit hard to deal with when it comes to chatting. It's a "goodnight" - "goodmorning" sort of thing. Not to mention that you cannot just pick up your cell and give a quick call or text, though I am thankful people were so generous with Jon in the States, so he could have one most of the time and Skype is available on all these fancy smart phones. (We are very behind on the times here. You should see my brick phone.)

I did end up with the deep feeling like this is our home. I thought a lot about it, for instance, if something happened to Jon, what would Anaya and I (and soon-to-be Jovie) do. This was my first time alone in Mozambique. It is impossible to say for sure or make those decisions outside of the circumstance, however, I did have a peace in my heart that this house, Maputo, my friends, the hospital... all of it is home. And that is good.

Jon is home now. This wife is very happy. I nearly exploded before I heard the arrival of his car outside our gate. Anaya and I had been playing outside for about 2 hours previous. It is hard to prep a 1 year old for such emotions. I think it was all a little much for her. She was definitely happy to see Daddy, and now, a day after he's been home, she is back to begging for his lap.

Now only a couple of weeks until we are a family of 4! My mom arrives in less than 2 wks. Excitement is the new name of the game. =)

It isn't surprising you notice all of the things your spouse does when they suddenly aren't there. Like picking up the dog poop, taking the trash out on trash day, charging your phone for you, changing the light bulbs, anything and everything electronic, making sure they put out the furnance next door so you don't smell burnt plastic all night long in the bedrooms, does a walk around the house when Gasher barks a lot in the night, etc. Those are just some of the "dos".

That doesn't even touch the huge ways he helps with Anaya, especially lately with me being so far along pregnant. I have had to miss all my Bible studies. We've made it to the hospital like normal but the first time we lasted 30 minutes and the second time 40 minutes. Anaya has had to get used to Mommy doing dishes before bath time. I don't have the sleep in option. And I could go on and on.

Then there are just the comfort habits you make as a married couple... like the way you fall asleep at night. We have bit of routine, and it just desn't work alone. I try watching a show on the computer, but I don't fall asleep the way I do when he is next to me. I've been up until 11 and 12 on a regular basis! The positioning of the pillows just so. Having someone to back up to and never fail grab my bum. ;)

Finally there are the things that typically are a little irritating, but you want back as soon as they are gone. Like the way he drinks nearly a whole pitcher of tea the very day I make it. It has lasted so long this time. Or the way he uses clothes once and then puts them in the dirty clothes. The bin currently has 2 things in it. The cups left around the house. I do it, too, there are just noticeably less right now!

So yeah, Jon lack of prescence around the house is missed greatly. Tuesday couldn't come fast enough!

So thankfully I seem to have transitioned quickly out of my funk. =)

Last night I enjoyed a date night with Jon, while Anaya stayed with some dear friends. We hadn't been on a date in about 5 months. Crazy! Anaya goes to bed so early (about 7pm) that we have lots of time just the two of us, and just never even noticed the lack of date nights. Needless to say, it was fun to get a little dressed up and splurge on a nicer restaurant. The last time we went to this particular restaurant, I happened to be 39 weeks pregnant with Anaya, which made it fun for reminiscing.

Jon and I have been trying to finish up some projects before Jovie's arrival. Jon made some frames and hung some rice/flour sacks in my kitchen, as well as made a cool pintrest inspired frame for my hallway. I feel like hallways are for family photos, but having concrete walls makes it a little difficult to hang a bunch of individual photos. I'll post some pics soon.

Jon also ran to South Africa and bought us a new washing machine. This Mama is super happy. Our previous washer had been giving us some trouble for the last year, and we kept hoping it would work itself out so we wouldn't have to spend the money, but after days of it not wanting to start, we decided it was time. Prices are so much in South Africa that it is worth the drive. On top of getting a new washer, Jon moved my washer from our detached laundry room to my veranda, right outside my front door! It is super convenient! I feel like I've been washing all day everyday in celebration! Sheets! Towels! Slip covers! Clothes!

I finally finished my bedroom curtains! Before, I would have pounded it out in one night, staying up late. Now... well it took me a little while, but nonetheless, they are done. It feels good for my curtains to match my walls, and I put black-out fabric on them, so our room is nice and dark. I love dark rooms for sleeping! I have also been sorting Anaya's old clothes, getting the 0-3month ones put into Jovie's little dresser.

I've started thinking through a hospital bag. I think I'll try and get that done before Jon leaves on Friday. Talking with a friend this last weekend I realized, things are a bit different here. Well, I guess I knew it, but I was reminded. When you have a baby at the hospital here, you have to bring all your own stuff... like diapers, pads, blankets, wash clothes, body wash, etc. Jon brought a diaper with us to the delivery room. It is possible to get diapers from the pharmacy, but they cost a crazy amount.

Tomorrow my Thursday morning Bible study ladies are having a small baby shower for Jovie and two other precious newborn boys that have recently arrived. A sweet friend, Deanna, is hosting it, and I am so appreciative. There will be a baby shower to write about in Jovie's baby book after all! ;) Since Anaya had three, I think it will be nice to tell Jovie she had one, too, even though I don't need very much.

Friday morning we will get up and take Jon to South Africa to catch a bus to Johannesburg to catch his flight to the States. My friend Lauren is coming along, and we're going to spend two nights at a little missionary guest house. It will be a nice time to chill and pass a little of my "without Jon" time. I'm pretty excited for a girlie vacation. When we get back, I will try and keep my days busy with projects and friends, and time at the hospital. Hopefully the 11 days will pass quickly, and then it will be a 2 week count down to my Mama's arrival! Then it'll be a short wait for Jovie's arrival. Crazy!

So I've been in a bit of a funk. I think many things are contributing...

Like the fact that it is hot again, when I thought winter had arrived. I planned this baby to be delivered in the winter, but here I am, using my air conditioner every night and nap and having hot flashes on a regular basis.

I've been in a Bible reading stage, where I am reading, but not finding lots to apply. Sorry if that sounds awful, but I've been a Christian long enough to come in and out of stages like this, and I know it is just for a time. I've been asking the Lord to give me a hunger and desire for His Word so that I'll read more, but in this tired Mommy stage, honestly, it not always the first thing I want to do with my down time. I have been feeling a bit spiritually disconnected. 

Or my tiredness, headaches, indigestion and overall "not myself" feeling. I know, I am 33 weeks pregnant with a gigantic belly and a 1 year old to chase, so it is to be expected, but it doesn't feel like the usual me. Did I mention the gigantic belly? Yeah, it is hard for me to feel beautiful or sexy for my husband when I can hardly roll out of bed to pee 5 million times a night and need pillows to prop me up for the lovely barf feeling. (This is the negative side of pregnancy, yet honest... there are many positives too, maybe for another post.)

Along with my tiredness comes a difficulty in desiring to go visit my friends at the hospital. I enjoy them when I go; however, getting over my afternoon lull enough to get the car to fight crazy Maputo traffic is proving harder and harder. I hate feeling a bit disconnected there.

Plus there is the fact that my husband is going the States next week without me. For 11 days. His youngest brother is getting married, and I understand he needs to be there; I would not miss my sisters' weddings. In my mind I understand and support him. Emotionally I lean towards the crazy 8 month pregnant lady, exhausted, who has only been without her husband for 2 days at a time in the near 4 years we've been married. Wish I could muster up some excitement for him, but so far my selfishness has won out. Boo!

I could list more contributing factors, because there are more, but you get the picture. There are many little things that are just all on top of one another and I've just been left feeling, as stated a couple of times above, disconnected.

Last night, after a day of being sick with a tummy bug and laying in bed half the day, I found myself not tired or ready for sleep. I decided I needed some soul therapy, so I told my hubby I was going to take a bath and listen to my Ipod. Worship music + good smelling scents + hot water = Ahhhhh. As in almost every funk, I turned on a Selah album and let the hymns minister the truth of God's character, His presence, and His faithfulness to me. I cried a bit (what's new?) and then soulishly felt a bit refreshed.

I am still tired and hot, and like it or not, my hubby is still leaving, but I am trying to "turn my eyes upon Jesus and look full in His wonderful face", so that maybe the other things will grow strangely dim.

This has been such a lazy week for me. My husband has started spoiling me each morning, offering for me to stay in bed while he gets up to play with Anaya. I end up waking up an hour or so later. How nice! I try to remind myself not to feel guilty, as multiple breastfeeding sessions each night are around the corner, however, I still feel a bit like a bum. On top of that extra sleep, I've been napping fairly consistently. This week has been cloudy and cool here in Maputo, and I just cannot resist the urge to get under the covers.

I am throwing a dear friend a bridal shower this weekend, which should be absolutely fabulous (pics to come), and I'm grateful there was planning beforehand, because this week my motivation to work is gone. I have to find it today though, because there are somethings I'd rather not be up at midnight on Friday doing. I think I will have to take my friend Lynne Hartke's advice and see if the motivation can be found in chocolate chip cookies. Just so happens my Mom mailed me chocolate chips, so I can even make proper ones.

Anaya has been a bit on the emotional side this week, and I'm not too sure why. Perhaps she senses the changes that are on the horizon? Or perhaps she is just being a little toot. I'd like to think the first. =) I try and balance extra snuggles with not letting her get used to 24/7 attention.Yesterday I became very aware that she has had too much of our attention this week, as I could not do the dishes or cook dinner without her wailing next to me. Oh dear. Not going to work. So I washed and talked to her as she cried, gasping for air, as if something horrific had happened. I'd stop and give her a quick hug and back rub, and then back to the dishes... and her wailing. Some days are just hard to know what is best as Mom.

I continue to ask the Lord for wisdom, as well as ask friends to ask on my behalf. He says He likes to give it to those who ask, so I'm going to be an asker! I want to be a good Mama, but I certainly am in need of wisdom on how to do that.

It's been longer than I'd hoped. What can I say? I've been unmotivated to write. I've opened this silly page multiple times, only to close it hours later with a few words scribbled in. Can you scribble on the computer? It felt like scribbling at least. Then blogger changed it's look, and I didn't care to learn the new ways. I've succumbed.

After Anaya's dramatic sickness, Jon caught the flu, or at least that's what we diagnosed because everything the doctors' said didn't seem to fit. I guess we're just really smart, or something... ;) I learned how much Jon usually helps, because this Mama found herself exhausted at the end of the days. I am truly a blessed woman, and my hat goes off to you single Mamas or Mamas with really busy or really lazy husbands. Sometimes I feel like a rockstar Mom, raising Anaya well enough to hold my head proud, but truth be told, it's only a team effort. Jon is a-m-a-z-i-n-g. For you singles out there, make this a priority on your list and don't settle!

I find myself a mere 8 weeks or so away from having our little Jovie girl join us. This brings mixed emotions...

I am obviously thrilled to meet this little girl, who is attempting to push through my belly and play with her sister on a regular basis now. I cannot wait to see what she looks like, if she is similar to Anaya or completely different. (SUCH an amazing moment to SEE this little person who has been residing in your tummy for a long 9 months!) To hold a tiny newborn that is my very own. Ugh! I can hardly remember; it seems ages ago now.

Then I find myself sad for the adjustments Anaya is about to face. Ultimately the pros outweigh the cons, and I am happy we decided to have these two so close; however, it will be a little confusing and difficult at times, and that makes me sad. I like Anaya to feel secure and loved. It is never easy to be forced into selflessness.

I am dreading the year of breastfeeding to come. Sorry to you ladies, who love it and feel so bonded. I will do it because I feel like it is best for Jovie and me, but I do not miss it in the least.

I dread labor. Well, to be honest, it is less the labor and more the recovery. The labor isn't nice, but it is fairly short-lived. My recovery was on the difficult side last time, mainly due to the emergency large episiotomy to get Anaya out. Perhaps this time will be easier. 

Which brings me to the fact that my mom is coming. Pure excitement. AH! I still can hardly believe it. It will be such a blessing. I know she'll be a huge help around the house, but more importantly, she can give a little extra lovin' to Anaya during a chaotic time for Jon and I. And then she can help me with Jovie so Jon can give some lovin' to Anaya. And round and round. You get the picture. Awesome. Big thanks to my Daddy-o, who is sacrificing his wifey for 20 days and budgeting for a not so cheap trip. Turns out June is expensive to get here!