Nerves and Nail Polish
Can be honest? You know how I like to be honest... sometimes to a fault. =)
But here is the deal: I was nervous to go back to hospital.
I felt like all that stuff that happened earlier this year happened to a different person. Like maybe I wasn't the right person for this job after all. I was intimidated by the silent women in their beds, by their saddened pained faces, by their bandages.
But after a short visit with a new lady (potential friend) and hearing her say that she wanted vistors, I was feeling better.
Then I heard her. My friend Sandra was there! She greeted my with a broad smile and warm kisses on the cheeks. I couldn't help but notice her extreme weight loss, her eye patch to cover her missing eye, and the beanie she wore to cover her bald head.
It was good to catch up, to be together again. I told her I liked the color of nail polish she was wearing, and with no hesitation she whipped it out of her bag and urged me to paint mine. There I sat on a hospital bed, struggling to find the correct Portuguese words, painting my nails as if we'd been old college buddies.
Every time I look at my purple nails, my heart is warmed.
This "job"... it's for me.
June 10, 2010 at 8:17 PM
Thank you Jesus for making the hearts of women the same all around the world. That we can talk about babies and family and clothes and nail polish and feel connected. And loved.
June 10, 2010 at 11:25 PM
Oh Layne, this post made me cry. I guess I can just picture this in my mind and it makes me smile because it's just so "You" and well....it just warms my heart. Yes sweetheart this is so the job for you!
June 11, 2010 at 7:17 AM
this pulls so strongly at my heart. i think im still trying to find that place of joy and belonging in ministry for my heart sometimes.
i understand the before fear and then getting into it and feeling perfect. i dont like the before. it feels like too much anxiety sometimes.
thanks for reminding me that we feel that inadequacy before stepping into our hearts.
June 11, 2010 at 1:16 PM
Awh Layne, I felt such a warm feeling around my heart when I read this. Satan will always try and stop us from doing what Jesus wants us to do, but oh how good is our God. To send an old friend and a possible new one, at just the right moment. You and Jon are made for this. enjoy and lots of blessings to you. Stay strong, for our Lord is the King of kings.
June 12, 2010 at 9:58 PM
Baby, your just good at warming hearts:) Proud of you for pulling yourself up by the boot straps and heading down to that hospital....my guess is in that warm heart of yours, you knew who would meet you there....JESUS;)