My Life as an African Gypsy

Perhaps it is because I was without "stuff" for so long... or maybe that's just an excuse?

You see Jon and I were in transition for quite awhile before and after getting married. We were either traveling or planning to travel, which meant I could only keep more or less 3 suitcases worth of stuff. Because that was nearly impossible, I still have some plastic tubs of things in AZ and a few things in Corpus to be sifted through. Still, I have vivid memories of sitting on my floor crying over my Steve Madden high heels that I got SO cheap that I would have to give away, and not only those, a pile of 'steals' that no longer accompany me to my home overseas. Or precious books that weighed too much.

When we got married, I didn't get to use the cool scanner and pick out towels, sheets, and dishes. Instead, we got a trip around the world, which might I add, I do not regret one single bit. Still, the fact of the matter was that I hadn't gotten my own stuff. We lived in gracious peoples' homes using gracious peoples' things.

Last year on our way from Angola to Mozambique we knew we were going to settle in, so that meant it was my turn. I was going to pick my very own stuff and have my very own style. Boy was I excited. How fun it was to go through the stores and find stuff that was so me.

There wasn't any problem with this. We found reasonable things and tried to make wise decisions about needs vs. wants. And I got a few of my wants; they aren't always bad.

Fast forward a few months...

My polka dot coffee mug that belongs to my set of six got broke. Did you catch that? It belonged to my set of six. That meant that my set of six was now ruined. Were they expensive mugs? Nope. But they were my only mugs! I was crushed. I went upstairs, laid in my bed, and I cried. I knew I was being silly, but that didn't ease my disappointment. (A month or so later we actually found a replacement, though a little dinged up, there was 1 left in the store in South Africa. My set of six has been restored.)

Right before Thanksgiving a plate that belonged to my set of eight got broke in the sink. Again, I was crushed. Jon encouraged me that we could use a little ceramic glue and fix it. I was appeased, and the plate still is used in our stack.

Two days ago a bowl in my set of eight got broken... too broken for ceramic glue. I tried to hold it together, to tell myself it is only stuff and not worth crying about. I succeeded, though I had many a thought of going to my bed and crying for the rest of the afternoon, though a 4 month old keeps that from being completely possible.

So here I am today, processing this little problem I have, this problem with stuff. It is just stuff. Having only 7 glass bowls is not terrible. If my sets are incomplete, it is OK. Fact of the matter is, I can get more stuff if I need it. I am realizing I need to loosen my little heart strings a bit to my stuff that is so me. It is a truth we know somewhere deep inside, and yet when faced with losing that silly stuff we are faced with the truth of where our hearts really are.