My Life as an African Gypsy

Then I lean over and catch a glimpse of this weird sag, kinda like a bum? Yeah, if you've had a kiddo, you may know what I mean. I think it may have something to do with the muscle separation that occurs. Needless to say, it is absolutely horrifying, and sends me into a frantic mode of wanting to workout. Because it is usually not possible at the moment, I just tighten my tummy over and over thinking maybe it is doing some sort of muscle strengthening.

I have added spider veins. The sun is so unforgiving and when I wear shorts driving in the car I notice every one of those little buggers. Honestly, I know they could be a lot worse, however, when combined with the other things in this blog they can send a girl over the edge. Lamps are our friends ladies, why does anyone need overhead light? ;)

My stretch marks are getting smaller and no longer have any color, but as with the spider veins, if I get a glimpse in the sun it is depressing... my permanent little friends.

Boobs. I am still breastfeeding, so that affects things to be sure. One is bigger than the other because Anaya has always preferred one to the other, and I've never cared enough to do anything about it. I pump 1oz from one and 3oz from the other, so you can imagine the lopsidedness. I like to tell myself it isn't terribly noticeable, but then again, who is going to say anything? Thank you to the convenience of the nursing tank top, I constantly have a saggy uni-boob. I apologized to Jon the other day, but girls, bras, even nursing bras, are a pain when it comes to breastfeeding. The tank tops don't provide great support for the heavy milk laden boobs, but what can I say, I go for convenience. (If anyone has recommendations for the best nursing bra, I'm open. Maybe for the next one...)

Thanks to nursing pads I don't have to worry terribly about 'nipping'. Let me tell you though, after your nipples have been used for feeding, they are different. Perhaps never to return to normal. Honestly, I can't remember what mine looked like before, but I don't think it is like they do now. Ha! I fear post-breastfeeding will always require a heavy padded bra to help with 'nipping'. Veterans?

Okay, so there is the worst of it.
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The good side is that every morning I have my precious, and I mean precious, baby girl squirming and ready to see me. She squeals with delight and buries her face in my neck multiple times a day. When I'm lucky she finds something terribly funny and laughs a laugh for record books. When she is sleepy she'll rest her head on my shoulder and suck her thumb, and I find it hard to lay her in her bed; I want to soak it all up.

She is weeding out the ugliness that is still rooted in my core. I find myself more aware of my sins, quicker to repent. She is good for me, forcing that selfish egoist right out the door. I am sure there is enough in me to last her lifetime, and unfortunately at some point she'll notice and be able to remember. I only pray I am humble enough to repent publicly, lean on the Lord, and grow for her see.