Emotions are good.
Being pregnant, perhaps my emotions are a bit closer to the surface than normal; however, it does not seem much more than normal. I don't deny that I am an emotional girl. I have had to, and continue to learn balance in this area, but I love that I feel, and I feel deeply. There is something soul-ish and almost spiritual about it. I love that my husband feels. That he expresses himself freely.
Yesterday a woman wanted to caution me about visiting the hospital. Seeing what we do and experiencing loss so frequently can be emotional. I appreciate her concern, truly I do. She told me when mom is sad, baby is sad, and I should be careful.
I've thought about it, and I've decided I want this little one in my belly to know the fullness of life. With that comes grief and mourning, and I am okay with that... it makes our joyful moments that much brighter. Living in this family, living in Mozambique, our child will know God's goodness in struggle. My life is full of love and joy. I sing and dance, exposing this little one to the bright side of this life. Jon and I laugh often. And I am okay with this little one mourning with me.
Emotions are good.
I am so full of anticipation for this child and the Lord's plan for him/her. I already pray that the Holy Spirit would come into my womb and fill this little one. What a miracle life is.
August 2, 2010 at 6:30 PM
Oh Layne, I agree 100%! God has given the perfect mommy and daddy for "this" child's life and that means every part of it:) I can't wait to see and hear the plans God has for this baby's life BECAUSE of all the ministry he/she will be part of! Thank you God for all your gifts:)
August 2, 2010 at 7:49 PM
What wonderful insight - I agree!!!
August 2, 2010 at 9:27 PM
layne, I remember when i was pregnant with all three kids, when there was a funeral or something (this is a cultural thing more than anything though) the women would be like, "No, you cant go, you cant mourn, you cant be sad, because your baby will be sad, or be scared of death and all this other crazy stuff. Just like your child will see you loving, praying seeking Gods face, he/she will need to see you mourn, cry, hurt for the hurtin, etc. How else do they learn but by their parents setting the example of being sensitive to the H.S. Praise God for a mommy and daddy like you.
January 20, 2013 at 7:50 AM
I just came BACK to this entry; I *remembered* reading it, and seriously searched until I found it, so I could send it to a friend. =) This has encouraged my heart so; I totally tend to avoid pain, and whitewash struggle, and shield myself and my family from it - rather than accept its ability to amplify God's goodness in ALL circumstances. Thank you for sharing this truth =) I'm sure it's not easy for you either.