My Life as an African Gypsy

So I've been in a bit of a funk. I think many things are contributing...

Like the fact that it is hot again, when I thought winter had arrived. I planned this baby to be delivered in the winter, but here I am, using my air conditioner every night and nap and having hot flashes on a regular basis.

I've been in a Bible reading stage, where I am reading, but not finding lots to apply. Sorry if that sounds awful, but I've been a Christian long enough to come in and out of stages like this, and I know it is just for a time. I've been asking the Lord to give me a hunger and desire for His Word so that I'll read more, but in this tired Mommy stage, honestly, it not always the first thing I want to do with my down time. I have been feeling a bit spiritually disconnected. 

Or my tiredness, headaches, indigestion and overall "not myself" feeling. I know, I am 33 weeks pregnant with a gigantic belly and a 1 year old to chase, so it is to be expected, but it doesn't feel like the usual me. Did I mention the gigantic belly? Yeah, it is hard for me to feel beautiful or sexy for my husband when I can hardly roll out of bed to pee 5 million times a night and need pillows to prop me up for the lovely barf feeling. (This is the negative side of pregnancy, yet honest... there are many positives too, maybe for another post.)

Along with my tiredness comes a difficulty in desiring to go visit my friends at the hospital. I enjoy them when I go; however, getting over my afternoon lull enough to get the car to fight crazy Maputo traffic is proving harder and harder. I hate feeling a bit disconnected there.

Plus there is the fact that my husband is going the States next week without me. For 11 days. His youngest brother is getting married, and I understand he needs to be there; I would not miss my sisters' weddings. In my mind I understand and support him. Emotionally I lean towards the crazy 8 month pregnant lady, exhausted, who has only been without her husband for 2 days at a time in the near 4 years we've been married. Wish I could muster up some excitement for him, but so far my selfishness has won out. Boo!

I could list more contributing factors, because there are more, but you get the picture. There are many little things that are just all on top of one another and I've just been left feeling, as stated a couple of times above, disconnected.

Last night, after a day of being sick with a tummy bug and laying in bed half the day, I found myself not tired or ready for sleep. I decided I needed some soul therapy, so I told my hubby I was going to take a bath and listen to my Ipod. Worship music + good smelling scents + hot water = Ahhhhh. As in almost every funk, I turned on a Selah album and let the hymns minister the truth of God's character, His presence, and His faithfulness to me. I cried a bit (what's new?) and then soulishly felt a bit refreshed.

I am still tired and hot, and like it or not, my hubby is still leaving, but I am trying to "turn my eyes upon Jesus and look full in His wonderful face", so that maybe the other things will grow strangely dim.