My Life as an African Gypsy

You can't really be involved in ministry with sick people and not think about the mysterious topic of healing. It is a topic that I am not sure can ever been grasped in totality. There is no formula or magic words that can be said, no 'correct' actions to be done. It just seems as though God chooses to heal some and not others according to His plans and purposes.

This doesn't make me question the goodness of God, simply because I believe we are fallen people who are not deserving of anything. Every good thing is from above, an undeserved taste of heaven, a gift. Suffering isn't necessarily because of a person's specific sin, or a lesson to be taught (though we usually grow tremendously through it), but we are living in a fallen world and suffering comes with it.

At the same time, I read in the book of John (and many other books, just most recently in John) when Jesus tells us to ask anything in His name and it will be done. Doesn't seem to be tricky or vague, in fact it seems pretty straight forward.

However, from most of our experience this doesn't always work.

We try and rationalize: Maybe it wasn't God's will? Maybe I didn't have enough faith? Maybe they didn't have enough faith? (That one is good, something you cannot possibly know or measure!) Maybe I should fast?

This post really won't answer anything for you... it is really just things Jon and I have been thinking and praying about.

It is difficult to sit by Ophelia while she is on the floor doubled over in pain as I plead with the Lord for momentary relief. Sometimes the miraculous doesn't always happen. Sometimes I have to leave her there in the bed with a strained face as she pushes through the pain. Sometimes they die alone in that dirty bed.

One thing I do believe is that it is not my heart that breaks when I see her, nor is it my compassion as I weep with her. We are selfish by nature. I believe those are feelings and emotions given by the heart of God. That is one reason I know He cares, He loves.


For now Jon and I have decided we will try and prepare ourselves better for our visits to the hospital. We will ask the Holy Spirit to fill us, to gift us, to enable us to do the works of Jesus. I think it is good to be deliberate about this.

We desire to be His vessels of comfort, of healing, of love. All the while we will keep searching and asking God for more understanding and more wisdom on this topic.